Our Aruba Wedding

I just received an email from another Aruba bride-to-be asking when did we arrive in Aruba? How early do you need to be down there?

Really, the answer depends on you — are you someone who is laid back, trusting in your wedding planner to handle everything for you? Or do you need to review every detail and meet with each vendor in person? Is your wedding pretty standard or are you asking them to do things they don’t normally do? As you can imagine, the more input and control you want, the earlier you need to be down there.

Since we were wanting many things that are a little different than what they typically do, we needed to be down there before our guests, most of whom would be arriving two days before the wedding. Unfortunately though, Delta doesn’t fly into Aruba on Tuesdays, so our choices were either get there on Monday or Wednesday (guests were arriving Thursday). We chose to take our chances and arrive on Wednesday so we could stay a couple of extra days after the wedding. I do think it was the right choice but it was hectic!

Our schedule was something like:
Wednesday

• Land in Aruba around 2:00pm, arrive at the hotel around 3:30pm
• Run to the grocery store for some bottled water
• 5:00pm: Meetings with Marriott Wedding planner and La Vista Restaurant Manager where we would have the welcome party. Food and drink tasting with La Vista at 5:00pm followed by  planning session with Desiree
• 7:30pm: Meeting with Mark Benson & DJ Randolph about entertainment
• 8:15pm: Meeting with Mark about lighting
• 10:00pm: Finally ordered some room service and had dinner on the balcony
• 10:30pm: Henna artist came to the room to do my bridal Mehndi which would take 2.5 hours

Thursday

• 9:30am – breakfast
• 10:00: errands including a trip to Ling & Sons and Oduber Agencies
• 12:00pm – Meeting with Edwina (independent wedding planner), florist, Marriott Wedding planner. Should have been a simple meeting, maybe 1-1.5 hours, however I had a melt-down with something that wasn’t going as expected and meeting too closer to 3 hours
• 3:15-5:30 – hair / make-up trial - went badly – didn’t get to make-up so had to make another appt. for following day
• 3:30 – guests start arriving creating lots of distraction and leaving me to assemble bags on my own as my fiance was dealing with little emergencies…
• 5:30 – assemble welcome bags (took 3 hours!) – we wanted the bags waiting in the guests rooms when they returned from the party
• 8:00-10:00pm – Welcome Party (arrived an hour late since my fiance wasn’t able to help me assemble welcome bags – guests were also arriving after little sleep so I didn’t want to ask anyone else for help.)

Friday

• 9:00am – breakfast
• 10:00am – rescheduled make-up trial since Thursday appt. went so bad
• 12:00 – meeting with Reverend Gibson
• Had something here that I can’t remember right now…
• 2:45 – meet guests in lobby before sailing excursion
• 3:30 – arrive at pier for excursion – finally we get 3 hours where we cannot work on anything!
• 7:30 – back to the hotel and finally have a couple of hours to relax!

Saturday

• 11:00am – hair and make-up
• 2:30 – photography starts – ‘getting ready photos’
• 3:00 – photos – our ‘first meeting’ followed by wedding party photos
• 4:30 – ceremony
• 5:30 – cocktail reception for guests while we take more photos
• 6:30 – Guests move to reception while we change clothes, take a few more photos and have a much needed cocktail!
• 6:45 – Back down to reception, first dance, cut cake
• 7:00 – Dinner!
• 7:30-10:30 – Party!

So, this list should just give you an idea. There will be things here you don’t have to worry about, but you may also have things like a civil ceremony that we didn’t have to worry about.

There are just too many remaining tasks to post here! I get a knot in my chest just looking at it.

Most important things I have left to do are:

• This weekend: practice wedding dance! Create wedding CD, welcome letter, itinerary, etc, packing and some shopping
•  Monday: pick up my wedding dress and party outfit!
• Tuesday: salon appointments

The hardest thing this week? FLOWERS! I was getting so discouraged and overwhelmed that I was ready to give up and do the identical mixed flower centerpieces but then he wouldn’t let me turn back. So now we’ve ordered a bunch and are hoping for the best. I think what I’ll do is sketch out how I think the placement of the flowers and lanterns should go since I’m still not feeling like we’re ‘on the same page’. Then the day of, my girlfriends can stop by and take a look and suggest adjustments if necessary. One of these girls is an amazing fine art photographer who has a great eye. I figure it will be better for her to suggest changes to something I did vs suggest changes to something someone else did. Of course to get started I need to find out the dimensions of the tables – wish me luck on that one!

All I do is read this title and have to catch my breath! The list still seems so long.

Planning Status:

• The biggest accomplishment for this week? Privately booked Mi Dushi for a sailing / snorkeling excursion!
• I purchased and receive a veil that I’m not too crazy about but it will do if I don’t get around to finding another one
• Received the welcome bags and purchased the rest of the visors for the ladies
• Ordered the custom chocolate bars for the welcome party / Mehndi. Also ordered the custom koozies, though I do still have to order the plain ones.
• Yesterday we had a detailed planning conference call with both wedding planners. We need to make a couple more menu selections (customizing the buffet with some Indian food), figure out our ’signature cocktails’ (this was part of the planning I was looking forward to – homework assignment: make and try a bunch of fruity cocktails – haven’t gotten to it), and most importantly try to arrange for some better lighting and figure out flowers

This weekend we’re hoping to: purchase some snacks for the welcome bags (some we’ll buy some there, others, here), make the CDs we are going to give the guests as favors, buy my bridal jewelry and purse, get my groom’s attire figured out (as well as attire for his guys and kids), get his wedding ring! and get my engagement ring polished (platinum is so soft and scratches so easily — can I keep from wearing it for over a week?). Tomorrow is another dress fitting where we will determine last minute tweaks and how much to hem. This weekend we also need to practice our dance (hmmm… dance practice might be more fun combined with fruity cocktail homework!). We also need to talk about (and hopefully buy) family and attendant gifts. (Tonight I’m working on my groom’s gift.) And we need to figure out if we can really pack everything we’re hoping to bring. All this and now we will have his parents and brother in town – they arrived from India yesterday! So we’ll be torn by wanting to spend time with them and needing to get stuff done! (I’m also pretty excited to see the Lehenga / Party Outfit his mother is bringing for me.) I need to schedule my ‘prep appointments‘ – manicure, pedicure, waxing, facial… So all these tasks which will bring stress and I won’t be working out for 5 days in a row since I’m going to his place this weekend (he lives 4 hours away). Five days of stress, no workouts and plenty of home cooked Indian food – Lets hope I can fit into the dress at the final fitting! Finally, one of my biggest concerns - is there anything else we have to order!?!

Wow — I REALLY need to re-group and get busy! I still have a lot of shopping to do and details to sort out. Really the different areas are: Welcome Bags, Welcome Party, Sailing Excursion, Wedding Attire and ‘Bridal Prep’, Ceremony Details, Reception Details, additional Photography, gifts to family and wedding party… While I have vented many a frustration regarding working with vendors so far away they are coming through for me and now its them waiting on me. My nature is to “run, run, run 110% til I totally burn out and crash, and then get back up and jog…” Time to pick myself up and jog to the finish line.

Planning Status:

• I need to start nudging people to get in their RSVPs! I think people figure we know their coming so RSVP isn’t necessary, but we need to know if they plan to participate in other activities like the sailing excursion and if they will be in Aruba in time for the Welcome Party
• Hoping to firm up Welcome Party details. The wedding planner and manager of the La Vista restaurant have been wonderful to work with! I adore these ladies. We’ve thrown around a lot of ideas and now its time answer the big question – what is this will cost us! We’ve requested a proposal based on 50 people instead of our original 35 (even though I only have RSVPs so far for 16 – grrrr). Henna Artist & Music: They are glad to make special arrangements for our henna artist (extra lighting) and let me provide the background music. I offered to send them a CD in advance so they can preview and make sure it is appropriate since it will play throughout the restaurant, but they are not at all worried. Menu: We’re thinking of doing a fruit collage and 4 indian appetizers – two meat and two vegetarian with chutneys, and non-alcoholic beverages. We are not going to offer an open bar, but the regular La Vista bar will be open. If we can work it into the budget, we do hope to offer a pre-determined amount of a ’signature cocktail’ which we will pay for. I sent them a recipe for a Tamarind Margarita that we really like. They have already tried it out down there. Only downside is its kind of a complicated recipe that I’m afraid will be expensive to make. Favor: I found some customized chocolate bars I want to offer as a sort of favor – the package shows a pair of henna’d hands holding a pink flower which just happens to be one of my colors. Only problem is we will likely need to expedite shipping so I need to make a decision in the next day or two. I’ll also need to make sure I’ll have room to pack them in my carry-on. Also, it looks like a cousin might be able to bring bangles and bindies from Bombay for the ladies. They’ll probably be the same inexpensive bangles I probably would have ordered off of ebay, but wouldn’t it be more fun to receive something someone brought all the way from India?
• Sailing Excursion: We need to make a selection and book it! I’ve emailed a few companies for the current availability and pricing. (I did this a couple of months ago, but just sent out another set of emails this morning.) I personally favor the catamaran style boats – I’ve emailed DePalm, Pelican and Red Sail. But, I think the kids might have more fun with the ‘pirate’ style boat so I think it will come down to Mi Dushi vs Jolly Pirate. I know the rope swings are really popular. (Also, someone suggested that older people sometimes have more trouble getting around on the cats.) I haven’t really seen much information that sways me to one or the other except that Mi Dushi is a lot more affordable if you want to charter it privately. Seems like all of the boats offer open bar, snacks and snorkeling gear at extra charge. So, Mi Dushi vs Jolly Pirate: Mi Dushi we can charter privately for just over $30 per person (based on 30 or more people). JP is pretty expensive to charter privately – over 50% more. But, if we want to join JPs existing excursion, it would amount to just over $30pp (At the moment you can get a 12% discount if you book and pay online). So, less than 30 people, JP becomes a better deal but the excursion won’t be private. Thirty or more people they are pretty much even. Today was the first day I thought to look at snorkeling sites though. I see JP goes to the Antilla Shipwreck during their afternoon 3 hour excursion. Mi Dushi does Antilla on their longer morning excursion, but not their shorter one. Maybe they would still do it for us if it is a private charter? I’ve emailed them to ask. Both offer “premium” open bar (though I’m not sure what they consider premium), snorkel gear and snacks. Being a private charter, Mi Dushi will customize the snacks for our group. (Seems like most of the excursions like to offer a lot of heavy meaty snacks and we have indian vegetarians and fussy kids so we really want to have some fruit.) I believe JP leaves from the pier closest to the hotel and am not sure where Mi Dushi boards… So really, Mi Dushi kind of seems like a no brainer – why can’t I pull the trigger? Might be in the fact that for a private charter JP costs SO much more so I feel like I must be missing something. Is the boat a lot bigger or nicer? Will Mi Dushi not do the Antilla for us?
• Welcome Bags: Ordered and on their way! Need to work on favor tags and labels and the CDs, though I’m still waiting for the playlist from the DJ. Also need to decide on can koozies and anything else I need to order. And need to start packing OOT Bag stuff into a duffle to see how much I really can carry with me.
• Wedding Attire and “Prep”: received the correct wedge flip flops (not crazy about them) but still need a veil, jewelry, a purse and to figure out what I want to wear underneath. I want support but am trying to be mindful of the heat. I have ‘difficult’ measurements so finding pretty lingerie that doesn’t cost a fortune is tough. I also do not think my fiancé has his shirt or groomsmen shirts figured out yet. He wants me to ‘just pick something’ but I really need him to help with this one. I was hoping for a nice embroidered linen short indian Kurta – Indian and “beachy”, but no luck… Don’t want to tell you how many hours I’ve spent looking! I also need to schedule appointments for my nails, pedicure and bikini wax. Highlights are being done on Monday! I think I’ve decided against airbrush tanning but want to start using one of those really gradual daily lotions. And need to find ‘inspiration photos’ for hair and makeup. Do I want a flower in my hair? If so, natural or silk? Also need to pick out bouquets for myself and my bridesmaids and confirm whether they want hair appointments. Oh ya – and my groom still needs a wedding band!
• Ceremony Details: I think we have an arch picked out though I’m still not sure we really need one. If the budget need to be cut, that might be where a cut comes from. Also, I need to decide if I want a carpet runner or rose petals down the aisle. If I want the runner which will make it easier for me to walk in heels, I can’t have real rose petals. If I want real petals I walk on sand… hmmmmm…. The officiant is scheduled from 4:00-6:00, so if we have to move the ceremony time that will be ok. He’s glad to meet with us a day or two before the wedding but nothing has been scheduled yet (its not unusual to not meet the officiant until ceremony time). But, we need to figure out how we’re going to incorporate his kids into the ceremony so a meeting may be nice. And I’ve heard both raves and complaints about this particular officiant so I think I might like to meet him in person first.
• Reception Details: the biggest thing I’m stuck on is flowers. I just want to find a photo that I can give to them but am not finding anything quite right. I’m really bothered because I have not liked the centerpieces in most of the set-up photos I’ve seen. On one hand I love the modern ’submerged orchid’ centerpieces, but then how to I incorporate my other colors? Another set up I like is the long ‘troughs’ of flowers but expect that to be way out of my budget. What I don’t like is the skimpy plain centerpieces spaced evenly down the table (boring). I’m thinking clusters of flowers, each arrangement being a single color. I also like the look of organic elements like wood ‘vases’. There aren’t any runners or chargers available that I like so really flowers is all I got. And of course my lanterns which I’m really excited about! The planner now has about 20 S/M/L/XL and I’ll be bringing 25 minis. I think I’m giving up on the candy buffet because I just don’t want to spend the money it would take to really do it right. Lighting: he still needs to have his call with the Banquet Manager to find out what lighting options are available – we so don’t want the ‘floodlight’ we’ve seen in a couple of setups. Menu: we’re doing the Marriott’s “Four Corners Buffet” but substituting one of the ‘corners’ for Indian. We need to decide which existing corner goes and start discussing the indian menu. (I believe the default corners are Asian, Caribbean, Mexican and Middle Eastern.) Cake: I really feel like I need to have flowers decided before picking a cake.
• Photography: my FI is actually likes the idea of grabbing a jeep and going to the rocky part of the island for a Trash the Dress / Post-Wedding shoot! Now its a matter of seeing if someone is available to actually shoot it and what the costs will be. (I think money here will be well spent vs the candy buffet.) And I need to decide if I want to wear my real dress or get a simpler sundress like the one Kristine is wearing in my previous post. And the 4″+ Jimmy Choos will definitely not do.
• Gifts: I am at a loss as to what to do for gifts. I guess worst case I could always do gift certificates for the girls and framed photos for the parents. I just don’t see myself coming up with anything especially sentimental or clever right now.

Time is really starting to fly! Now its really time to start getting things done. As always I procrastinate. I usually work well under pressure though, so I’m hoping that will hold true!

Accomplished this week:

• Ordered Karen Bussen’s: Simple Stunning Wedding Flowers
• Hired a videographer!
• Have a dress fitting today! I’ll finally get to try it on with my Choos
• Ordered and received my bridal wedge flip flops but they sent the wrong pair! Emailed the vendor to see if they are at least the same height so I can use them for the fitting (these are the ones I received: Bridal Flip Flops Wedge with Crystals Ivory Color – I’m looking for crystals only, no sequins)
• Found a bra in NYC but am disappointed I couldn’t find anything really cute or fun that would work
• My future brother and sister in law have picked out a Lehenga for me in India – I think its with the steamstress now? So my welcome party outfit will be here in a few weeks. Hopefully there won’t be much needed for local alterations.
• Picked out my wedding band in NYC at Debeers on 5th Avenue. Just couldn’t fall in love with the Tiffany band even though I’ve tried it on at least half a dozen times now. They let us take it into the sunlight – he looked at me and said ‘is this the one’ and I said ‘this is it!” We first saw it when we went to NYC earlier this year and nothing else has come close. As we’re getting ready to seal the deal they offered us champagne! 
• Have the rest of the wedding first dance worked out but now need to practice

Goals for next week:

• Pick out FLOWERS / Centerpieces – that’s the big decorating and budget hold up
• Order my veil and find bridal jewelry
• Try to complete at least a couple of my DIY projects: Welcome letters, Itineraries, Favor tags and labels, Music CDs  (dress up the sleeves, pick the music and create labels), personalize straw visors
• Need to find more straw visors
• Find out my ‘bangle size’
• Update the budget worksheet – its getting ugly

I so can’t believe that in 6 weeks we’ll be in Aruba! Time is just flying. I didn’t post at 7 weeks because honestly I haven’t been getting much done. Part of it is waiting — waiting on answers from wedding planners. Another part of it is really procrastination. The invitations did come but still need to get in the mail. First they came without boxes. Then a couple days later the boxes came. Now I look at the boxes and think I can’t really label and send the box – really they need an envelope. So, now I need to go to the office supply to buy some envelopes and the craft store to get some raffia to tie around the boxes to hold the lid on. Taping them just doesn’t seem right. And then I’ll have to hand address the envelopes.

Accomplished this week:

• Ummm…. Hmmm???  Oh ya, ordered and received the CD sleeves
• Picked the first dance song
• Have a call this afternoon with the hotel wedding planner
• Got a pedicure that I hate to say wasn’t very good so I know to not go back before the wedding
• Got in 4 workouts!

Goals for this coming week:

• Get the invitations in the mail!!!!
• Saturday we’re working with someone to help us with the ‘first dance’. (I think I’m the whitest white girl ever with NO rhythm!)
• Figure out whether I still want to order the custom koozies – I had wanted to mail on to the wedding planner so she can let me know if their water bottles fit in them. I think they’re cute but my fiancé thinks they’re ‘girly’. Wanna talk about girly – have you seen the Hawaiian shirts some men will wear as well as flowered swim trunks? 
• Figure out what I want to do for Welcome Bags (wait and hope the Palm Leaf bags will get back in inventory or select something different)

I hate to say I’m kind of at a low point at the moment… not getting much (anything) done. Really there isn’t much to do. Its just a matter of picking out a few things – cake, flowers and some music. It’s just in my nature to over-complicate certain things. Given there aren’t many things I have much control over I’ve really been investing myself in these things, only to spin in circles and not really come up with anything great. (Correction – make that anything great that fits in my budget!) Finally I burned out and have taken a bit of a break. Also giving the wedding planners a bit of a break after my ‘DJ tantrum’.

The truth is I’ve been a bit down since ‘budget reality’ set in. The weekend before last my fiance and I sat down and went through the expected expenses from the hotel stays, flights and tips to the can koozies and custom labels I want for the welcome bag goodies. We’ve doubled our initial budget and even added 50+% to what we later thought was a more realistic budget. And this doesn’t include the dress I’m still paying for or the Jimmy Choos he just bought me. So, guilt is setting in, big time. Because of that I’m trying to be more responsible with spending and looking to see if I can do any trimming. Maybe gerbera daisies aren’t really that bad… And who needs hanging crystals – they’re just trendy, right? (If you want to know what I’m talking about, go to Yvonne Design’s event gallery. Aruba is nice but I so should be in Hawaii)

The only thing on track for this last week is the workouts – doing pretty good on that front. I’m within about 3 pounds of where I want to be for my second fitting in three weeks. Of course this is a long holiday weekend and my sweetie is coming into town, so my big goal for the next week is just to not gain weight. Three pounds might sound nominal but its not when you are just under 5′ 2″.

Anyway, given that I’ve been bummed out for two weeks now, I’m bound to get all wound up and excited again soon. I needed the reality check.

Wow! 9 weeks from now we will be IN Aruba making final preparations for the wedding weekend. Seems so much more real to see that number in the single digits. That’s just over two months. Why do I keep thinking I still have three months?

• Accomplished in the last week: not much I’m afraid to say… We did FINALLY place that invitation order and put together our list of addresses. I had intended to have this done a month ago, but ‘life at home’ doesn’t stop because we’re getting married. We had a stretch of ‘one thing after another’ of things not related to the wedding. Also, skipped a workout and partied a bit so I’ve probably lost a week when it comes to getting in shape. (Am I the only one who’s one night of partying leads to days of bad behavior?)
• Unproductive time: spent many more hours looking for decorating inspiration. Really all I have to decorate is two long dinner tables. Should be easy right? Well since that’s the only decorating I really have control over I’m totally driving myself crazy and WAY over-thinking this. Last night on the ProjectWedding website I looked at 300 pages of photos (8 photos per page)! Then spent another hour looking at updos, even though I know I don’t have a lot of options with my baby fine hair. My biggest real decisions will be flower or no flower? 
• Goals for this week: Get back on track with the workouts. No partying this weekend! Select a DJ — the DJ drama continues — I’ll fill you in later, find a welcome party outfit (ya, I know I’ve been saying that). Continue looking for some fun bhangra music for the Welcome Party and Reception – have maybe 10 songs so far…

Well, 10 weeks from today we will be in Aruba preparing to welcome guests to the welcome party! Unfortunately this has been one of my more unproductive weeks. The only good news is I have finally reached my ‘pre-fiancé’ weight and am within 4 pounds of the weight I want to be at for my second dress fitting in 4 weeks.

• Accomplished this week: a conference call with the Aruba Marriott’s wedding planner and restaurant manager about the welcome party, scheduled my appointments at the Mandara Spa for a consultation and bridal hair and make-up
• Unproductive time: though I didn’t check much off the list, I did spend HOURS looking for a Welcome Party outfit, looking for inspiration for flowers and centerpieces. I also looked for hairstyle ideas and jewelry and have not yet given up on the totally impractical Jimmy Choos I desperately want. (Ya, I know it’s probably for the best that I didn’t find those shoes, but sometimes you just get something in your head, you know? They are still sold out worldwide.) AND I started researching bhangra music that we want to have at our Welcome Party and reception.
• Goals for this coming week: Get invitations out! That is the one thing we really need to get done.

Its now 11 weeks until we leave for Aruba!

• Accomplished this week: Planned the Welcome Party! Whew! That was a lot less painful than I thought it would be. Looks like the hotel’s wedding planner and La Vista Restaurant manager coming through for us. We’ve also been proofing wedding invitations and collecting guest addresses. I received my Drugstore.com order (Free Shipping on orders of $25.00 or more!). Took my mom and sister were taken to the post office to apply for their passports (hmmm… suddenly not sure I know where MY passport is). And I got in 4 workouts (though played too much over the weekend so I’m probably breaking even on the workout front).
• Goals for this coming week: Find my passport! Schedule hair and makeup at the Marriott’s Mandara Spa. Need to find a strapless suimsuit - of course fall stuff is out now so that’s proving to be difficult, but I don’t want to end up with funny tan lines days before the wedding. Get the invitations in the mail! Update the wedding website - open up RSVP and work on adding photos and bios of confirmed guests.
• Goals for the next couple of weeks: Need to find an outfit for the Welcome Party – want to find a pretty Indian Lehenga. Need to find my fiance a shirt for the wedding (he wants a simply Tommy Bahama but I want to find something more ethnic). Get bridal undergarments. Choose a “First Dance” song. (I can’t even tell you how many hours I’ve already spent on iTunes ) Find out what I can about reception entertainment (in particular, the DJ).
• Goal: have 6 weeks to lost 5-6 pounds (next dress fitting: September 23rd)

And get this – my fiance tells me we might be going to NYC and Vienna for a week at the end of September! Could be an opportunity I can’t pass up, but that means I need to get even more organized now…