Our Aruba Wedding

After several glowing reviews, its finally time for me to get back to a not so great review… If you’ve followed along you know I’ve had a hard time figuring out my flowers. I finally found my inspiration and sent the photos and explanations of what I was looking for 20 days before the wedding. I’m told its imperative we get the order placed as soon as possible and am told I will get the quotes the next day, which would leave us a few days to look at the numbers and make final decisions. (Final orders need to be placed 7-10 days before the wedding.) Unfortunately the quote I was told would come the next day, came 7 days later and the wedding is then 13 days away. (First two photos in the post are my ‘inspiration photos’.)

Individual Quotes:

The quote contains prices and substitution suggestions for each individual arrangement shown in the photos which is good. There is also a note that all vases are ‘rental’ – they get returned to the florist after the event. At least this is a good start – now how many of each do they suggest I need to recreate the look / feel shown in the photos. I want a total flower proposal based on the size of our tables which is actually now 1 long table for 40.

Full Flower Proposal:

Well I wasn’t receiving a bottom line proposal suggestion how many of each I need to recreate the look and feel of my photos. My fiancé pushes me into just making some selections and hoping for the best even though I do not yet even know the length of the dinner tables. We finally make our selections and its around 10 days before the wedding. Whew, right? Oh no… The ‘fun’ is just getting started.

Sprayed Spider Mums vs Spider Gerberas vs Hydrangeas vs Freesia

As were trying to place the order I’m told pink and / or orange spider mums are not available. (Spider mums are available in white, green, lavendar and I think yellow.) They can ’spray’ white mums whatever color I want or I can pick an alternate flower. What I had actually wanted was pink spider gerberas which I didn’t think would be a big deal since the regular gerberas are one most common flowers for Aruba wedding setups. Well I’m told the fluffy spider gerberas are not available. I’m not comfortable with the idea of sprayed flowers and ask for a picture. No one can provide a picture so I ask about alternates – I want to know about pink hydrangeas and / or pink freesia. I’m then told the hydrangeas won’t hold up well in the heat. (Then why were they on the list when I asked for a list of available flowers?) That brings me back to freesia – in my original quote I was told a ‘medium square vase’ of spider mums would be $55, and medium square vases of 10 freesia stems would be $70. So, I decide I’d rather pay the extra $15 per arrangement and have freesia instead of sprayed mums. THEN the florist comes back and says the freesia are really small and that for a medium vase of freesia to look right I’ll really need 2 bunches in each bringing the cost to $125 per freesia arrangement. I was pissed and thought this seemed a bit shady. I’m ready to place and order and they’re saying ‘forget about the original quote, you really need to spend 60% more per arrangement for it to look decent’. Why would they quote something they thought would look bad? Or why wouldn’t they have, at the time of the quote, said that they thought it wouldn’t look good? Or why didn’t they just plain give the original quote at $125? And I’m told this when the wedding is a week away and these decisions are urgently needed. So, I finally gave in and agreed to go with the sprayed spider mums even though no one was able to send me a photo.  (Oh and that spider mum quote – originally was $35 for 3 mums… when I said I’d like to add two mums the price went up $25 for a total of $60! So $35 for three mums AND the vase rental, but then $25 for two mums? That math doesn’t work – again I feel like I’m being taken advantage of. I insisted they give me a more reasonable price.)

Submerged Orchids and Orchid Cake Flowers:

My quote of $105 per ’submerged orchid’ arrangement went to $150 per arrangement when I said I really wanted the submerged orchids to be the Phalaenopsis like in my photo (shown left), not Cymbidium. I’m not surprised and tell them to go ahead, though I want Phalaenopsis with pink centers (which I learned are called ‘red lips’).

At least my quote for cake flowers (6 regular Phalaenopsis) was only $95. Or was it? Next thing I know I get an email that the cake flowers will really be $185 (not $95)! Now I’m really pissed. After I express my frustration there is an explanation that this is because the smaller Phalaenopsis they were going to order from Columbia are not available so instead they are ordering larger ones from Holland. Still seems shady and seems like the florist should have confirmed availability before giving the quote. It also didn’t seem right when I could get a whole Phalaenopsis stem for $150 which included the vase rental. Then they ’suddenly realized’ they can just use loose flowers for the cake and restored the price to $95.

Vases:

After I’ve gotten the quotes and order together I’m told two of the vases I want aren’t available. The long horizonal vase for the horizontal calla display and the rectangular vase for the submerged orchids. Wouldn’t have been a big deal if I had been told this when I was first promised the quote which was still nearly 3 weeks before the wedding because these are easily available online. Instead I’m finding this out a week before I leave and am unable to find them locally. (I spent hours looking for the long horizontal vases, then days later I’m told the rectangular vases for the submerged orchids aren’t available either and hit all the same stores again.) I found the rectangular vases for the submerged arrangements, but didn’t have time to pack them properly and two broke. Oh well – I knew that was a risk and they weren’t expensive. I was able to provide two of the vases.

OTHER FLOWERS and OUTCOME

Bridal & Bridesmaid Bouquets:

I chose a combination of Cymdibium Orchids and Freesias for my bridal bouquet, Cymbidium Orchid corsages for the mothers and had orange callas for the bridesmaids. The bridal bouquet was expensive ($225) but beautiful and held up pretty well. I didn’t put it in water when I got back to the room but the next day it was still in good enough shape to take to the Trash the Dress Shoot. The moms corsages were nice and only $30 each which I thought was a good price.

I’m afraid I was disappointed in the bridemaid bouquets though – I was first quoted $50 each for bouquets of 5 mini orange callas. That sounded too small, so I asked to make it 7 each for which I was charged $70. They ended up looking skimpy and I was kind of embarrassed to ask the girls to carry them. Since calla lily bouquets are one of their most common bouquets I never thought to send them a picture of what I expected to see. The first picture below is kind of what I was expecting and the second is what I got. Guess I was supposed to order full size callas? I didn’t think mini callas were THAT mini. Would you be disappointed if you paid $70 for the bouquet on the right?

Centerpieces:

The roses and single cymbidiums were nice and turned out nice with the exception that the vases for the single Cymbidiums were a little large. The sprayed mums exceeded my expectations – they were really pretty and we all could have been saved a lot of grief on that if someone could have sent me a picture. The orchids were gorgeous but weren’t submerged – instead the vases had an inch or two of water and the orchid was slumped against the side. It wasn’t the polished look I was going for and didn’t look as good as the picture I gave them. Ideally they would have been filled with water – actually I wonder if they use gel to get that ‘floating’ look like the photo above? There also should have been candles close by to create a bit of a glow (I guess it wouldn’t have ‘glowed’ if the vase wasn’t filled with water or gel though). I thought these things were obvious but looks like I’m wrong. I was disappointed but still had those orchids sent up to our room for the rest of our stay.

Here an example of what I got (sorry – its not a good photo) – not the cool, ‘designed’ clusters I was hoping for…

Luckly we sat at the end of the table and couldn’t really see much of the centerpieces or it would have driven me crazy. I don’t feel like we got close to the look I wanted.

I hate to say that flowers was the most disappointing part of the planning process and the biggest disappointment the day of the wedding, but I know part of that is my fault. I waited too long to make my selections and wanted ’something different’ – a kind of design they don’t have experience with. People loved and commented on a lot of things about the wedding and one reception, yet not one flower comment. Somehow I just expected more for $2400+… Hopefully someone will send me a photo that will show me it was a lot better than I remember…

Flower Advice:

My advice is just to let them ‘do what they do’… you’re probably better off with their basic mixed flower arrangements that are repeated throughout the decor. OR – if you want something different, start early. Confirm how many stems are in each quote you get, that the vase you want is available and that your colors are available. Would I make the same choices again? Maybe, but I would bring my own vases and would have drawn out exactly where I wanted everything placed. And I would work with a different florist. Unfortunately I can’t tell you who the florist was – I chose to work with the independent wedding planner’s florist so I didn’t have to add Marriott’s 19% service fee to the bill. She insists this florist is one of the best and very trustworthy. She did meet with us and wasn’t as personable as so many of the other people we had been meeting but she did bring the orchid stem to show me which finally brought a smile to my face during a really difficult planning meeting.

I was told that yesterday, Thursday, was the absolute deadline to order our flowers for next weekend since they will come from Holland and Hawaii. We had placed the order on Wednesday but then there were questions because some of the flowers we were quoted are not available – pink spider mums. When asked if I was ok with having white mums ’sprayed pink’, I asked instead about substitutes – I wanted to know if pink spider gerberas are available – if not, how much would it increase cost to use pink hydrangea or freesia. And worst case, could I at least see a picture of what ’sprayed flowers’ will look like? Finally, I’d really prefer to see Phalaenopsis orchids on the cake, as in the picture I provided, and in the submerged orchid arrangements, but am concerned about how much those will increase cost. (But – will it looked weird if those are white and all the flowers around them are pink and orange? Will white Phalaenopsis add drama by being different or look out of place? I’m SO not a flower designer.)

Well now its Friday morning and I didn’t get answers to any of those questions. So, did the planner just make a decision and place the order? Has the order not been placed? *sigh*

The flower order I hoped was crossed off the list just hopped back on. I’m told that spider mums are only available in yellow, white, green or purple. Seriously? No pink spider mums or spider gerberas? That just doesn’t seem right but I guess I can’t argue. Seems like someone should have mentioned that neither pink nor orange were available before giving me the quote on them. The option I’ve been offered is to have white mums spray painted. I doubt its an actual ‘paint’ – must be some sort of die or food coloring? Anyone have ANY idea what this would look like? I would think a painted flower would not have the same dimension as a natural flower. Normally a pink flower will be varied – maybe darker in the center or at the base? I can’t imagine a painted flower looking right. So now we either have to replace those with what will likely be a more expensive flower (ie. hydrangeas or freesia?), or be ok with painted flowers, or go back to the drawing board. With a flower budget that has risen to over $2000, I’m not sure I can be ok with sprayed flowers. Isn’t flowers supposed to be a fun part of wedding planning!?! I’m close to saying screw it and going with the cheap cookie cutter mixed flower arrangements. I’ve pretty much doubled the budget for something I don’t have confidence in.

Well we placed the flower order! The table and canopy set-up test run we were hoping for yesterday didn’t happen. I can’t remember what came up. So, I still don’t know how long the tables are (we’ve been planning for 2 long tables of 20 each). So, we’re just going to ‘wing it’. We just ordered a bunch of flowers. I still think there won’t be enough for the drama I was hoping for, he thinks we might have too many. I hope that he’s right because then we’ll be able to place some arrangements on the low tables in the ‘lounge’ area. 

We took our inspiration from the two photos below, mostly the white grouping.

Centerpieces:

• 4 Large Vases – submerged pink Cymbidium Orchids. My first for choice for submerged orchids would actually white Phalaenopsis orchids as in the submerged orchid photo, right. I’m waiting to hear back if they are available and the cost
• 6 Medium Vases Spider Mums – 3 with only pink mums and 3 with only orange mums (we’re balancing the really expensive submerged orchids with the much more affordable spider mums). The submerged orchids are modern and the fluffy mums will soften the display. Trying to kind of replicate the effect of the fluffy white peony and rear submerged flower in the white photo below.
• 6 Medium Vases Roses (with 8 roses per vase) – 3 vases with pink only and 3 vases with orange only. These would be some ‘filler’ vases to add dimension and texture
• 16 Small Vases with a single Cymbidium Orchid - all pink (shown in pink photo below)
• 4 Vases with Horizontal Calla Lilies – 2 with orange calla lillies and pink mums and 2 vases with pink calla lillies and orange mums (again, white photo). This is the only place where I want two different colors in the same arrangement.

Bridal and Wedding Party Flowers:

• Bridal bouquet – simple white Cymbidium orchids (still need to find a photo to send the florist)
• Bridesmaids bouquets: Orange Calla Lilies (their dresses are pink)
• Mom’s corsages: White Cymbidium orchids (one is wearing taupe, the other blue and red so white is the safest way to go)
• Boutonniere: these we’re not doing…

Somehow I managed to get myself all worked up again yesterday. There is now pressure to make final decisions yet I don’t feel like I have all the information I need to make them so I start to panic. Luckily this is where my groom and I work well together. As I become this crumpled pile of tears, he grabs the reigns for a while and now I think we are back on track. We had a conference call a couple of hours ago and I’m feeling a lot better. I also had a 4+ hour drive back to Michigan which I used to try to put things back into perspective.

Lighting: Somehow I was expecting that now that deadlines imminent, we would be getting responses and answers much quicker. We had the lighting conference call last Wednesday and it was Monday before I finally sent another email since there had been no follow through that I was aware of. Something interesting did come out of it though. We didn’t get a meeting with the company Marriott was initially going to refer us to, but were finally referred to the DJ. I found this referral a bit strange – why would the Marriott not have referred us to this DJ that was already working for us – the one they wanted us to hire? While I am still unclear on that, it turns out that the entertainment company that will provide the DJ also does in fact do lighting.

I had thought the entertainment company’s lighting was limited to disco / dance floor type lighting but there may be more that they do. And it looks like this may be the better way to go anyway. Are we disappointed to not be working with the company we did not get the meeting with? No. The Marriott had already warned us that they would be really expensive. Also, our independent planner has warned us against using that company at all.  Finally it turns out they are really just ‘event planners’. The event planner would then just turn around and hire someone like the entertainment company to actually do the lighting. So, we may be in good hands working with the entertainment company directly. And really, are lighting needs aren’t that significant – we just want some indirect lighting instead of floodlights.

Flowers: last night I really felt lost. We finally fall asleep for a while but then both woke up around 2:00am when my groom decides to send another email to the wedding planner. Somehow he often seems to have better luck. You want to know the crazy thing? He says she actually replied after that, after 2:00am! Reinforces what I already knew — that she works SO HARD. I don’t know the contents of the email, but believe that by the end of the day we’ll have some more guidance. Today they are supposed to set up the tables to get an idea of how many arrangement she thinks may be necessary. What I’m hoping for is she’ll be able to tell us something like: “do 1 really dramatic grouping and 2 more moderate groupings for each table”, Or “2 dramatic and 3 modest per table”…  Or “just do 5 moderate / modest groupings per table”… Some guidance like that, then we can pick from the ‘menu’ of arrangements we’ve been given and see what fits in our budget.

Reflection: While I was driving today I took the time to try to put things into perspective. Take us for example; our budget has more than doubled. That means much of what we are asking from our vendors has also increased. So here we are close to our wedding date and more work has been created. Also, we are most definitely not the only couple doing this. I’m a programmer so I should know this so well — we call it ’scope creep’. A client gives you a project and a deadline, yet along the way they want more features but still want the same delivery date. So my flowers – the initial expectation was just 4-5 identical mixed flower arrangements down each table, which I was never very excited with. Finally, 3 weeks before the wedding I find my inspiration, though don’t really know what it will take to pull it off. Its also a type of set-up they don’t have experience with, so how can I expect them to know exactly what it will take? I need to be glad they are embracing my ideas and are willing to try.

Advice: Now today the anxiety is lessened. A piece of advice I have to other brides is don’t let yourself get too worked up. When you’re feeling lost and overwhelmed pick up the phone. They will hear your concerns and calm your fears. In fact, some of your concerns may suddenly seem silly. And remember, the pressure you are putting on yourself is WAY more pressure than anyone else will put on you. The issue that has become so big in your head may not really be that big of a deal after all.

Action Plan: The independent planner is hoping to set up the table and canopy today and give us a better idea of what we are working with. Tonight I will finally pick some flowers and just hope for the best. Really, does anyone else pay much attention to flowers anyway? They will see if the entertainment guy can stop by and give some insight on the lighting. Today we will finally formalize a menu. Most importantly we arranged a meeting for the day we arrive which will hopefully include both wedding planners, the DJ (and lighting person if it will be someone else) and the manager of the La Vista restaurant who will hold a tasting for us. Then together we will all walk the space and figure out what will go where and any last minute adjustments that need to be made. This will all still be three days before the wedding. Meeting this whole team of people I think will go a long ways to relieving any lingering concerns and have us ready to enjoy our guests when they get there the following day.

Note: after the wedding we’ll share names and reviews of all companies we are working with. I don’t want any of my rants to reflect poorly on someone that might end up doing an outstanding job.

Here are some pictures of some flowers I’m told are readily available in Aruba (though not necessarily grown there). I received a list but had to look a lot of them up so I thought I’d make a collection here. Some were flowers I hadn’t heard of or knew by another name. I’ve been told Aruba has no greenhouses and therefore doesn’t grow any of their own flowers. There may be exceptions but as a rule all flowers are imported.

These sure make for a pretty page don’t they? I so wish I could have seen a page like this months ago – would have made my life so much easier! When some of my initial favorites weren’t available (cattleya orchids, tulips and dahlias), I quickly became discouraged. Seeing something like this would have helped me focus on what I can have instead of what I can’t have! There are so many pretty options available beyond the three I keep being offered (roses, callas and gerbera daisies). For colors we are going with bright tropical pinks and oranges.

At first our ‘color’ was going to be red. My fiance is eastern Indian and for Indians, red is a color of good luck (white is a color of mourning). I still wanted my white dress, but thought I’d incorporate the red in the bridesmaid dresses and flowers. Well, when we got down there for our site visit, red just seemed so wrong… Between the colorful buildings downtown and the gorgeous sea I was inspired to select a more tropical palette. For me the pinks and oranges seem more festive – bright and cheery and fun. Also popular are aquas, blues, corals… Even white or a sandy champagne color would be pretty (champagne was my second choice), but dark colors for me just didn’t suit the Aruban landscape.

Well I’m told that there is a proposal on its way for the flowers and I’m getting a little anxious. I had a number in my mind that I thought we had budgeted for flowers, and was afraid the quote will come in 40-50% higher. Then we analyzed the budget again and it turns out we had actually budgeted 40% less than the number I had in mind so its very likely the flower budget could come in at twice what we budgeted! I do know some of the flowers I want will be pretty expensive (in particular the orchids), but was hoping the less expensive spider mums will balance things out. Now I’m preparing myself to have to making bigger compromises. I had already expected that I’d start with the ‘wish list’ floral display and tweak it down, but I’m really hoping I don’t have to totally slash it. Really, what would you think it would cost to have a little drama on two tables? These are two long tables that will seat 20 people each. $500 per table? $750 per table? $1,000 per table? More!?!

Really, a decision about the bridal bouquet is small compared to the decision about the centerpieces. I’ve been looking and looking (and looking) for inspiration and not seeing anything that’s quite right. I have found a few photos that I love though, and have finally identified a little bit of what I do and don’t want. What I do want? A little modern and a little drama.

For a while I’ve been loving submerged orchids. (Westin hotels often have awesome submerged arrangements in their lobbies.)  I worry about them being ‘too modern’ though, especially when combined with the modern polished nickel lanterns we have. I’m afraid all that glass and metal will create a look that’s too severe… cold.

Another look I love is the long troughs of flowers – you know, long and skinny and low, overflowing with flowers. (Early on I decided I wanted two long tables instead of rounds.) A “Colin Cowie” type of look. Often the ‘troughs’ are wood or covered with luxurious fabrics. But, I know that kind of drama is totally out of my league.

Most importantely, what I think I realized I don’t want is that look where they make 10 identical centerpieces, nicely, neatly, evenly spaced down the tables. I want something that looks ‘designed’ – eclectic and modern, and modern but soft. So, between yesterday and today I spent an embarrassing number of hours on Project Wedding, but have finally found my inspiration!

My fiance and I both love the picture of the white flowers. While I still want to use our colors, (bright orange and pink), there are some elements in this photo that I LOVE. One, we have the modern element with the submerged flower in the back. This could be my submerged orchids. Then to the left, we have a more traditional arrangement with a big fluffy flower (is it a peony?) – I’m thinking maybe this could be fluffy spider mums / spider gerberas. (I don’t like the traditional gerberas I see in many set-ups because they remind me of those that I buy in the grocery store for $5 – very pretty but I want something a little ‘more special’ for the wedding. But I think the spider gerberas are so pretty — here is a really great photo of a pink one). Surprisingly, one of my favorite elements is the callas in the foreground. I really didn’t want calla lillies (bad memory association for me), but in that unexpected presentation, laid on their side, I suddenly love them! And then to the right is a vase with a single floating flower. How pretty! Only thing is I think it may be a gardenia and I’ve read gardenias are not a good idea on your dinner tables — I read its not a good idea to have anything with a really strong smell which gardenias definitely have.

I have a couple of other photos here that I like also like a lot. Looking at the three together is when I was finally able to identify what drew me to them! Each arrangement (for the most part) features a single type of flower versus just mixing them all up in bouquets. Attention has been given to really show off each type of flower. I also like the different sized vases, creating an eclectic and fun presentation. An element I really like in the pink and pink/green photos is the single orchids in a tiny square vase. And I like the look of vases lined with banana leaves.

So — does this stand a chance of fitting anywhere near my budget? I’m afraid for the quote (which I’ll hopefully get soon). None of the arrangements are terribly large – they’re all pretty modest. While there are definitely some expensive flowers, hopefully they can be balanced by more affordable flowers. And there are definitely a lot of vases, but most a small to medium. I have a dollar figure in my head which I think we could be comfortable with. Somehow I expect my ‘wish list’ will exceed that by about 40%. Back now to the waiting game but at least I finally have a vision. How close I get remains to be seen.

Something tells me I’m already asking for a lot of trouble on this one. Just a couple of weeks to go and I do not have flowers chosen. I may have mentioned that about 5-6 weeks ago I asked my planner for a list of available flowers – maybe their “Top 15″. I also asked for a list of ‘absolutely not available’ flowers. Well it took 3 weeks but I got my list and I can’t say it made things any easier so I’ve been focusing on other things… The list isn’t bad, its just that some of the flowers I had fallen in love with are on the ‘not available’ list.

Flowers I’m told ARE Available include:

• Roses
• Dendrodiums orchids
• Cymbidium orchids
• Plum gingers ( red+pink )
• Spider mums (gerbera daisies)
• Calla lily regular + mini’s
• Lilies asiatic and oriental lilies, stargazers, casa blanca are asiatic
• Hydrangeas
• Sun Flowers
• Freesias
• Anthuriums
• Astromelias

Flowers NOT Available:

• Cattleya orchids
• Dahlias
• Peonies
• Dianthus
• Tulips

On the ‘not available’ list, a couple are kind of obvious – tulips and peonies. They’re too frail for the heat. One of my planners told me she saw a wedding where a bride insisted on peonies that just didn’t work. They didn’t open… And tulips were one of the first flowers I asked for… I’ve grown up loving them because I’m Dutch, and you’d think a Dutch island would have them, right? Maybe not one on the equator.

Two that surprised me a little though, were the Cattleya Orchids and the Dahlias. October is a big month for Dahlias and from what I’ve read they’re pretty hearty so I figured they’d travel well. I love the fact that they can really make a statement – they’re bold and come in really bright colors. But I’m not going to push them into trying to get a flower they don’t have experience with.

My biggest disappointment though, is that the Cattleya Orchids I had fallen in love with aren’t available. I love those big fluffy dramatic orchids (shown in magenta and white). I had expected them to be available since I seem to remember reading that they grow in Central and South America. But – one good think, the pink cone ginger in another bouquet picture I sent her IS available (the lighter pink). So now I need to decide – am I drawn to that bouquet because its different, or do I really love it?