Our Aruba Wedding

As we are nearing the end of our Aruba visit, I thought I’d take a moment to tell you how awesome our wedding and reception were. Our original estimate of 20 people grew to 43 which included people coming from as far away as India! (In the picture, right, my dad is walking me down the aisle.)

While there were a few bumps along the way, the final outcome exceeded our expectations. From the minute we got here the Marriott went above and beyond for us.

While I will elaborate in more detail later, for the moment I just want to acknowledge the people that helped us so much. Desiree and Chela were in the lobby to greet us the moment we arrived. We were given a gorgeous suite and were incredibly grateful for the extra space. They have both been awesome to us throughout the process.

Desiree and Eveline helped us throw a wonderful welcome party complete with bhangra music and the best tamarind margaritas. The food was great and they even packaged up and held the extra fruit and cheese for us to take on the sailing excursion the next day.

We privately chartered Mi Dushi for our guests on Friday and everyone has a really great time! The crew was fun without being ‘in our faces’.

The wedding itself was awesome! Luckily we weren’t too bothered the tourists and laughed off the speedos that seemed to try to get in the portrait photos.

The reception was outstanding! No one could believe how good the food was! It far exceeded our expectations! Among other things, the indian food they made for us (something that isn’t on their menu) blew us away!

Edwina did an awesome job with our decor which included a tent she invested in on our behalf. She and has crew worked SO hard for us.

Mark Benson and DJ Randolph did a phenomenal job with the music. Our group was dancing until the end!

The only let down was the Mandara Spa. They were very very nice, but getting hair and makeup right was a challenge. Luckily I had the photographers blessing to wipe a lot of the make-up off and reworked my eyes myself. I think the stylist is a very sweet lady but found it hard to work with someone that didn’t speak English…

Yesterday we did a trash the dress shoot at the ruins and at Eagle Beach which was a lot of fun!

Weather has been perfect the whole time and I think out guests had the time of their lives. Now we have 2 more days to relax and enjoy Aruba!

Thanks to everyone here on the forum for your help and support!

As always too many things have been saved for the last minute. Not the least of those is my groom’s outfit! He’ll be wearing a shorten Indian sherwani that is a creamy color with embroidery. The problem? Finding pants to go with it! Try to find lightweight cream slacks right now! The hunt did not go well, both of us totally stressed out trying to accomplish this at absolutely the wrong time. We finally went to a really upscale men’s boutique here in town with a plea for help.

As we walked in we said “We hope you can save our wedding!” It’s interesting how helpful an objective third party can be! They had the cream colored slacks I thought would work but the guy at the salon also insisted a nice chocolate brown would be really nice. (Chocolate brown is actually what my fiance wanted.) I kept thinking chocolate brown on the beach?!? Sounds so wrong but I finally gave in after the guy at the boutique insisted it would be really good. On the upside though, he was able to convince my groom that a more contemporary fit, flat front pant would work well for him (something he wasn’t interested in by my suggestion alone). So we ended up with brown but flat!

After all that ‘fun’, we came home and worked through packing and think we’re going to be ok! We got the lanterns and welcome bag items packed which was the most important. He will have a hard shell suitcase with lanterns, plus they will take up about half a duffel, so there is his to checked bags. Luckily he doesn’t have to pack much – doesn’t really need much more than a carry-on. I will have a duffel full of welcome bag stuff, plus a second checked duffel with fudge and my clothing. Then my carry-on and checked bag. I am SO GLAD I arranged to have a car service pick me up and take me to the airport! (We are flying from different cities but will meet in Atlanta.)

After shopping and packing we decided we needed to chill out with a movie, pizza and wine. Pizza and wine are things I definitely didn’t need and then I kept thinking about some of the chocolates we are bringing with us – some orange chocolate Dutch Pastilles. Neither of us have actually tried them so we figured we might as well before giving them to our guests. Oh my gosh – they’re so good! We ate most of the tube. Then this morning I finished them off and continued my bad behavior with a carrot cake cupcake from the bakery on the corner. I think in the last 24 hours I undid a week’s worth of workouts.

Flowers: It looks like the Phalaenopsis Orchids I wanted for the submerged arrangements ARE available, though substituting the Cymbidium for those will add over 40% to the arrangement’s cost! We are so spoiled here in the US. I love those orchids and am so used to seeing pots of giant Phalaenopsis in Costco for $20. Here though, we’ll pay $150 for a single submerged stem. (I actually wouldn’t be surprised if that submerged display costs just as much here at home.) So, I’m going to scale back the bridesmaid bouquets just a little, as well as reduce the number of orchids in mine, replacing some with a less expensive filler like freesia or roses. I’m going with an all white bouquet for me and orange calla lilly bouquets for the girls.

Still don’t know what we will do about ’sprayed mums’ vs another flower. She is advising against hydrangeas because they can fade in the heat so I will take her advice on that one. Bright pink gerberas are available however I do not want regular gerberas – you know, the ones we see in the grocery store for $5? Fluffy pink spider gerbera daisies would be really cool though. The frustrating thing is that I can’t just have this conversation with the florist. I feel bad that the wedding planner has to keep going back and forth between the florist and us. It also takes a lot more time to have questions relayed through a third party. 

Funny thing is two months ago I didn’t even care about flowers. I hadn’t seen anything I was ‘in love with’. Of course when I do finally fall in love with something is almost always expensive or hard to get. Luckily my groom laughs about it. He says I could look at three nearly identical items (ie. maybe three dresses), and will undoubtedly prefer the one that’s more expensive without ever knowing the price.

Just another reminder that the Aruba.com forum has been without a doubt, the most helpful resource to me. In particular, the Weddings and Honeymoons thread. You can learn about hotels, restaurants, vendors, activities, etc. You get the benefit of talking to people that live there as well as regular visitors and couple that have had their wedding or are planning their wedding in Aruba. Another benefit is getting to see questions that you might not even have thought to ask yet! The moderators work hard to see to it that the information on there is as fair and accurate as it can be. Even now as I enter the last days of prep there are people from the forum that continue to provide support.

Pretty much anywhere you go you’ll find that people speak english, however the mother language of Aruba is called Papiamento. It’s not unusual though, to find an Aruba that can speak three, four or even five languages. Being a Dutch island most will speak Dutch. Given its so close to Central and South America Spanish is also common and even German is often spoken. Still, I think part of the fun of going to another country is learning a little of their language, so in the Welcome Bags I want to include a list of some common Papiamento words and phrases. Below is a list I found on TripAdvisor.com:

Simple Words and Phrases

• Bon dia: Good Morning
• Bon tardi: Good Afternoon
• Bon nochi: Goodnight
• Bon Bini: Welcome
• Danki: Thank you
• Con ta bai: How are you?
• I am fine: Mi ta bon
• Ayo: Bye
• Cuantor tin?: What time is it?
• Unda bo ta biba?: Where do you live?
• Ami: me
• Abo: you
• Nos tur: All of us
• Boso: All of you
• Nos dos: The two of us
• Mi: I or I am
• I can speak Papiamento: Mi por papia Papiamento
• I love Aruba: Mi stima Aruba
• I want: Mi kier
• Congratulations: Pabien
• Have a good day: Pasa un bon dia
• Very Good!: Hopi bon
• Quietly or slowly: Poco poco
• See you later: Te oro
  

Words For a Loved One

• Un sunchi: A kiss
• Un braza: A hug
• Mi dushi: My sweetheart
• dushi ‘om: Delicious or great
• Cu tur mi amor: With all my love
• Ranka Lenga: To french kiss
• Mi amor: My love
• Corta orea: To cheat on someone
• Hole dushi: Smells good
• Hopi bon: Very good
  

Shopping

• Cuanto esaki ta costa?: How much does this cost
• Mi ta wak rond: Looking around, browsing
• Ban dal un trip: Lets go out on a trip
• Banco: The Bank
• Placa: Money
• Ki pelicula ta hunga awe?: What movie is playing today
• keds: Sneakers
• sapato: Shoes
• den caya: In downtown
• Mi tin sed: I’m thirsty
• Mi tin hamber: I’m hungry
• Ban cas: Lets go home
• Drugstore: Botica
  

More Words and Phrases

• Bin aki: Come here
• Ban sali: Lets go out
• Ban goza: Lets enjoy
• tur cos ta bon: Everything is going well
• Ban sigi: Lets continue
• Ban come: Lets eat
• Awa: Water
• Awacero: Rain
• Lamper: Lightning
• strena: Thunder
• nubia: Cloud
• lama: The beach, also the ocean
• tera: Sand, also country
• cunucu: The country side
• den stad: In the city
• na waf: At the port
• brug: Bridge
  

Food

• cuminda: Food
• pan: Bread
• manteca: Butter
• keshi: Cheese
• Fish: Pisca
• beleg: Cold cuts
• lechi: Milk
• soft or refresco: Soda
• mangel: Sweets/candy
• chupa bebe: A lollipop made in Aruba
• pastechi: similar to (Jamaican beef) patty, made from white flour filled with cheese, ham, beef or chicken
• sucu: Sugar
• salo: Salt
• pika: Pepper

TripAdvisor.com also has some other helpful ‘Before you Go’ information here»

I was reading some wedding budget suggestions when I saw a reminder to not forget about tips! Good point I thought, but then realized I don’t really know who to tip. I came across one etiquette article that suggests you tip just about everyone involved from the chef to the banquet captain to the wedding planners and entertainers, and of course wait staff and bartenders. You can imagine how much that could add up! But then we have prices that are already inflated with the 19% service fee that the Marriott adds on top of everything – does that cover tips? When and where might an additional tip be acceptable and / or expected? Totally confused I emailed their wedding planner who did not reply to that email. Maybe its an uncomfortable question for her? A couple weeks later I went ahead and emailed the manager that we’ve been working with and really appreciated her reply!

Wedding Tipping:

Of course she says any tips are totally up to our discretion if we receive excellent service. But as a rule:

• Wait Staff and Bartenders – Yes
• Chef and Pastry Chef – No
• Banquet Captain / Manager – No
• Wedding Planner – No
• Entertainers (Steel Pan Drummer & DJs) – No
• Event Manager – No
• Restaurant Manager (where we’re holding welcome party) – No
• Hair Stylist – No (Mandara Spa adds a 20% service charge)

She also agreed with something I had read on my own – that you aren’t expect to tip the ‘owner of a company’. For example, if your photographer, independent wedding planner, entertainer, etc, works for him / herself they do not expect a tip. And Marriott managers are not allowed to accept tips. They are allowed to accept gifts, however if the value of the gift exceeds $50, it needs to be ‘reported’ (to corporate management maybe?).

Here are Martha Stewart’s thoughts on Wedding Tipping»

Restaurant Tipping:

I’m told in Marriott’s restaurants, a 15% gratuity will be automatically added to groups of 6 or more, but somehow I seem to remember a service charge being added to our breakfast for two when we were there (I’ll find out for sure in less than 2 weeks!). 

Outside of the hotel, I think restaurant service changes are a bit controversial in Aruba. Some restaurants will add in a ’service charge’ and its often unclear as to what that service charge is for. Who gets what? Its easy to think, “If they are going to add in a service charge, then I don’t have to leave a tip”. But does the money from this service charge get shared with the wait staff? The policies are different from restaurant to restaurant. I remember reading some TripAdvisor reviews from frustrated visitors, irritated by wait personnel that pushed the ‘extra tip’ line when there was already the service charge added in. Maybe this service charge is shared but maybe not (my guess is probably not much of it is shared)…  And how well are waiters, waitresses and bartenders compensated in Aruba? Are they dependent on tips like those there in the US? Or are they paid well and the tip is just a bonus? (Aruba is a Dutch island and some countries in Europe pay these people really well so tipping is not customary.) Really, I think its a poor policy to have that service charge there, especially if it is not shared with the wait staff. It confuses people. I think it would be better all around if they just raised their prices 15%. I guess maybe they want to be able to show a reasonably priced menu, but I think its pretty shady to add 15% after the fact. 

Anyway – the ‘take-away’ for me is to go ahead and tip if you are truly impressed with the service and don’t let yourself feel obligated to tip if the service is just ‘ok’. So, I think we’ll tuck away some cash in envelopes to have one hand for the bartenders and wait staff – and maybe have a couple of extra envelopes on hand ‘just in case’. In the end it looks like tipping will be a token instead of the considerable expense I had suddenly feared.

Ok, this is a little weird, but when we we were in Aruba for our site visit in May, I collected some sand which I brought home. I was thinking I wanted it in case I decided to do a ‘message in a bottle‘ save the date, which I ultimately decided against. So now I’m clearing out my closet and it just seems wrong to throw it away. If someone out there would like to use this sand, please let me know. I’d be glad to send it to you for the cost of shipping. I have two ‘quart size’ ziplocks, each almost half full. Just shoot me an email: info@ourarubawedding.com.

When we first decided we wanted a destination wedding we were overwhelmed by the choices and didn’t really know where to start. Here are some things that might help you decide that Aruba is a good location for you…

Aruba might be a great choice for you if:

• You want a beautiful beach wedding.
• You want to get married in the Caribbean, but you have a late summer / fall date. Why? Well that’s hurricane season for most of the Caribbean. While Aruba is not immune to hurricanes they are quite rare. Of course there are also many other fantastic months to get married in Aruba – spring is really popular.
• You don’t want to deal with language barriers: While the official language is Dutch and the native language is called Papamiento, many Arubans speak fluent English – in our time there I don’t think we met anyone that didn’t speak excellent english.
• You don’t want to worry about “Montezuma’s Revenge”: the drinking water in Aruba is clean and safe!
• You don’t want to worry about crime: While you want to take precautions anywhere you travel, Aruba has a lot less crime than many other destinations. They have a fairly high standard of living and low unemployment. You don’t see the intense poverty you often see on other Caribbean islands and in Mexico
• You can relax and ‘go with the flow’. Things seem to happen on “Island Time”. People will get back to you but it could take a few days. And securing your hotel could take weeks before you have that signed contract in hand. While things sometimes seem to take a while, on the other side, there is no pressure – no one trying to rush you into commitments
• You want a location that’s easy to get to and in the same time zone (Eastern time zone)! Aruba is only a 4 hour flight from Atlanta
• You want to get married on a “Private Island“: Its surprisingly affordable to get married on Renaissance Island if a private island is your dream
• You want to work with people that really seem to care about you and your event and will go above and beyond for you

Aruba might not be a great choice for you if:

• You want only one wedding and want to get married in a church! All legal Aruban weddings need to take place in their town hall. I know this has been a deal breaker for some. No legal weddings can happen on the beach or in a church. Beach ceremonies are symbolic, often following a town hall wedding or a legal wedding at home. Before deciding you have to have the legal and all the symbolic in one ceremony at least take a moment to learn a little more. This could be a touch that helps make your wedding unique – Bryan Morris (of Bryan Morris photography) has a couple impressive blog posts about the town hall. Here is an interview with “Betto” Christiaans about the hall, and here are some  gorgeous photos that shows you the hall’s charm.
• You need to have the latest / greatest trendy decor for your wedding. Importing goods to Aruba is extremely expensive so local vendors are less likely to follow every trend. They will have what they know works.
• You need instant answers to every question – the answers will come, though sometimes on “Aruba Time”.

Of course one of your big questions is probably cost! When it comes to a budget – an Aruba wedding can really be as affordable or as extravagant as you want. When we started talking to potential vendors we presented them with a very modest budget and guest list which they were glad to work with. No one ever gave us the impression that Aruba or their venue was ‘out of our league’. While our budget and guest list have grown significantly they were never the ones that made us feel like our initial budget goals were inadequate. No pressure or “upselling” – we were the ones that would come to them and say “Ok – we think we have a little more money to spend – where might be the best place to use it?”