We did it! I am now legally entwined with this man of mine, laughing as he is trying to open our cheap bottle of bubbly and pour it into our cheaper plastic flutes. On one hand we have this weekend long celebration of our marriage that we are planning in Aruba, full of romance, family, friends and fun. On the other we have the legal part which we chose to do in secret here at home.

We both took the day off of work and set off this morning with a list of tasks. Dropped my ring off to be polished, chose and ordered his ring, went to Nordstrom and purchased some beautiful Nadri earrings and bracelets, picked up some make-up I needed, got some lunch and then headed to the courthouse while rockin’ out to some Reggatone music. The picture is kind of funny because we’re not young – I’m in my later 30’s, he in his mid 40’s. We walk up to the marriage license window needing only our drivers licenses. Fifteen minutes later we were called in to go over paperwork. Even though I’m from out of state all we each needed is that single piece of identification. No blood tests… no waiting periods… just $20 and a couple of signatures and then we’re sent upstairs to the magistrate.

We pay the magistrate clerk $80, wait our turn in their waiting area. In front of us is a young couple in jeans with two small children. After them is an older couple dressed nicely; she is carrying a bouquet and they seem to have two family members with them. Witnesses right? We also were surprised to find out you don’t even need witnesses anymore, though we of course understand most people would want some family with them.

Finally its our turn. We are called into the courtroom where an attorney acting for the magistrate performs the ‘ceremony’. The three of us stand there in the middle of the room. He asks about the rings we don’t have and we kind of laugh as he modifes the pre-written vows to say the rings we ‘will someday have’. I was kind of suprised that we do recite the traditional vows. To have and to hold, richer / poor, sickness / health, etc.

So why the magistrate and why in secret? Why are we not getting married in the Aruba Town Hall? Well, really it has nothing to do with Aruba. We were originally planning to get married in Puerto Vallarta. We’d heard enough horror stories about Mexico that we decided early on that would be more comfortable just getting the legal stuff taken care of at home. Then our destination changed but that plan somehow stuck. And in secret because as far as all our family and friends will know, they are seeing the actual wedding. We don’t want them to feel like they missed out on something.

Is this a good way to do things? We don’t know and definitely not for everyone. Will this take something away from our Aruba wedding? Or will we be more relaxed knowing that the legal part is done? Will we later be disappointed that moment wasn’t as romantic as it could have been and wasn’t shared by our families and friends? Either way, at least we have one thing crossed off the list. So now how are we spending our wedding night? On the computers trying to sort out more wedding details… As far as we’re concerned, what we did today was ‘paperwork’. The real wedding is yet to come.