Our Aruba Wedding

Time is really starting to fly! Now its really time to start getting things done. As always I procrastinate. I usually work well under pressure though, so I’m hoping that will hold true!

Accomplished this week:

• Ordered Karen Bussen’s: Simple Stunning Wedding Flowers
• Hired a videographer!
• Have a dress fitting today! I’ll finally get to try it on with my Choos
• Ordered and received my bridal wedge flip flops but they sent the wrong pair! Emailed the vendor to see if they are at least the same height so I can use them for the fitting (these are the ones I received: Bridal Flip Flops Wedge with Crystals Ivory Color – I’m looking for crystals only, no sequins)
• Found a bra in NYC but am disappointed I couldn’t find anything really cute or fun that would work
• My future brother and sister in law have picked out a Lehenga for me in India – I think its with the steamstress now? So my welcome party outfit will be here in a few weeks. Hopefully there won’t be much needed for local alterations.
• Picked out my wedding band in NYC at Debeers on 5th Avenue. Just couldn’t fall in love with the Tiffany band even though I’ve tried it on at least half a dozen times now. They let us take it into the sunlight – he looked at me and said ‘is this the one’ and I said ‘this is it!” We first saw it when we went to NYC earlier this year and nothing else has come close. As we’re getting ready to seal the deal they offered us champagne! 
• Have the rest of the wedding first dance worked out but now need to practice

Goals for next week:

• Pick out FLOWERS / Centerpieces – that’s the big decorating and budget hold up
• Order my veil and find bridal jewelry
• Try to complete at least a couple of my DIY projects: Welcome letters, Itineraries, Favor tags and labels, Music CDs  (dress up the sleeves, pick the music and create labels), personalize straw visors
• Need to find more straw visors
• Find out my ‘bangle size’
• Update the budget worksheet – its getting ugly

Please please know that everything on here is just my experience and my opinions! I’ve promised to share the good and bad. I’m really appreciative of all the supportive fellow brides (and even a couple grooms). Its feedback from you that keeps me writing. Unfortunately I did receive a particularly nasty message likely from an Aruban vendor or a friend of a vendor, quite upset that I’m “dumping” on so many people. Seriously? Do other brides feel like I’m ‘dumping’ on people?

I really mean no offense to anyone. I would think that instead of trying to insult me it would be more constructive to point out where and how my opinion is wrong. I’ll be the first to admit I have very high standards and expectations. In some ways they been haven’t met but in other ways they have been exceeded!  I try to share both. I also try to warn people that I am pretty particular. More laid back brides should know they may be able to dismiss many of my concerns. I try my best to be objective but its always important to consider the context – this is ONE bride’s experience. If you are a bride that would like to be a guest writer and share your experience, send me an email and we’ll talk. Or you can send an email and ask me to post it anonymously. (I’m looking for honest candid reviews – not reviews submitted through the urging of a self-promoting vendor.)

Anyway — in about 6 weeks I’m hoping to get my reviews posted. I’ll detail the vendors we worked with and how pleased we were with each. I’ll also try to include lots of photos.

Well I think this is the week things are really going to start coming together. As expected, I am now getting LOTS of emails from our independent wedding planner — she rocks! One thing she has is a stylist who will come to your room and do your hair and make-up. Her up-dos cost much less than the Mandara Spa. Still – I wanted to see photos which I have just received and have to say the work is very nice. Looks like she can probably do as elaborate of a style as you want. Also — one thing I really appreciated – she shared a couple of photos and wanted me to assure her I would not share them with anyone else. I promised her I would keep them to myself and really like the fact that she protects the privacy of her brides. She is a lady of integrity. We had a good feeling from the moment we met her and have not had a single second thought since making the decision to hire her. Also, this is a good example of how an independent planner can save you money.

When we first decided we wanted a destination wedding we were overwhelmed by the choices and didn’t really know where to start. Here are some things that might help you decide that Aruba is a good location for you…

Aruba might be a great choice for you if:

• You want a beautiful beach wedding.
• You want to get married in the Caribbean, but you have a late summer / fall date. Why? Well that’s hurricane season for most of the Caribbean. While Aruba is not immune to hurricanes they are quite rare. Of course there are also many other fantastic months to get married in Aruba – spring is really popular.
• You don’t want to deal with language barriers: While the official language is Dutch and the native language is called Papamiento, many Arubans speak fluent English – in our time there I don’t think we met anyone that didn’t speak excellent english.
• You don’t want to worry about “Montezuma’s Revenge”: the drinking water in Aruba is clean and safe!
• You don’t want to worry about crime: While you want to take precautions anywhere you travel, Aruba has a lot less crime than many other destinations. They have a fairly high standard of living and low unemployment. You don’t see the intense poverty you often see on other Caribbean islands and in Mexico
• You can relax and ‘go with the flow’. Things seem to happen on “Island Time”. People will get back to you but it could take a few days. And securing your hotel could take weeks before you have that signed contract in hand. While things sometimes seem to take a while, on the other side, there is no pressure – no one trying to rush you into commitments
• You want a location that’s easy to get to and in the same time zone (Eastern time zone)! Aruba is only a 4 hour flight from Atlanta
• You want to get married on a “Private Island“: Its surprisingly affordable to get married on Renaissance Island if a private island is your dream
• You want to work with people that really seem to care about you and your event and will go above and beyond for you

Aruba might not be a great choice for you if:

• You want only one wedding and want to get married in a church! All legal Aruban weddings need to take place in their town hall. I know this has been a deal breaker for some. No legal weddings can happen on the beach or in a church. Beach ceremonies are symbolic, often following a town hall wedding or a legal wedding at home. Before deciding you have to have the legal and all the symbolic in one ceremony at least take a moment to learn a little more. This could be a touch that helps make your wedding unique – Bryan Morris (of Bryan Morris photography) has a couple impressive blog posts about the town hall. Here is an interview with “Betto” Christiaans about the hall, and here are some  gorgeous photos that shows you the hall’s charm.
• You need to have the latest / greatest trendy decor for your wedding. Importing goods to Aruba is extremely expensive so local vendors are less likely to follow every trend. They will have what they know works.
• You need instant answers to every question – the answers will come, though sometimes on “Aruba Time”.

Of course one of your big questions is probably cost! When it comes to a budget – an Aruba wedding can really be as affordable or as extravagant as you want. When we started talking to potential vendors we presented them with a very modest budget and guest list which they were glad to work with. No one ever gave us the impression that Aruba or their venue was ‘out of our league’. While our budget and guest list have grown significantly they were never the ones that made us feel like our initial budget goals were inadequate. No pressure or “upselling” – we were the ones that would come to them and say “Ok – we think we have a little more money to spend – where might be the best place to use it?”

I just want to send a shout out to the newest brides I met this week! Thank you so much for the feedback and encouragement. Without a doubt the best part of this whole thing has been that I’ve gotten to meet so many people through this. I hope you’ll let me know if you find any great resources and I’d love to know who your favorite vendors and venues are. I wish you all the best! Spring 2010 will be here before you know it!

So we’re going to NYC this weekend and wouldn’t you know, last night I receive an email from Kleinfeld. It was just an email newsletter announcing they are now partnered with Adorn Brides, the company that rents real diamond jewelry. Well, one of my tasks for the weekend is to get my wedding jewelry figured out. One item on my list is a pair of chandelier earrings . I’m thinking good costume CZ or crystal isn’t going to be cheap, so should I just rent the real thing? I wonder if they’ll have any of the actual pieces in the store.

I had actually emailed Kleinfeld last week because I wanted to know if I need an appointment to look at accessories. I found out they are a distributor for Haute Bride – I’m in love with the rhinestone bangles. When I had just about given up on their reply I get one today – no appointments needed to look at accessories on Tuesdays, Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays. So, now the question is can I walk in there without getting myself into trouble? I don’t have a veil yet either. I was just planning on picking up something inexpensive on etsy. Over and over I have read about veils being the most overpriced item brides buy. And, I kind of want two. I’d love to have a long one for some dramatic pictures, but then a short one (elbow length) which is recommended for their wind.

So really, my intentions for contacting Kleinfeld are innocent enough – I just wanted to look at some costume jewelry. But I’m not sure how well my discipline is going to hold up. It could be so easy to get caught up in the excitement of being in New York. So far I have at least resisted the temptation to contact Agent Provocateur (I LOVE love love the Kate corset). I have not yet even looked at how far away they are from where we are staying.

If you’re looking into J Crew bridesmaids dresses you might be finding the fabric samples difficult to get. I sure did but I’ll spare you the details. After 5, maybe 6 weeks (and a couple phone calls and a couple trips to their retail stores), I finally got my samples. I no longer need them and would be glad to pass them along. For the trouble, I’m asking $1 each plus $2 for shipping. Just send an email with an address I can send a Paypal invoice to and include which samples you would like. I’m guessing they’re maybe 1.5″ x 3″ each and mounted onto a card stock. (Sorry – color of my photo is way off – Its the best I could do with an iPhone.)

I have one each of:

• Cotton Cady: Peppermint (a light pink)
• Cotton Cady: Azalea (a dark pink with a little bit of a purple tint)
• Cotton Cady: Tea Rose (a bright medium pink – this is the color I chose -
  be sure to look at it in the sunlight – its so pretty!)
• Silk Tricotine: Champagne
• Silk Tricotine: Deep Rose (a dark pink – mulberry?)
• Silk Taffeta: Light Flamingo (fushia?)
• Silk Taffeta: Champagne
• Silk Chiffon: Deep Rose (a medium dusty rose?)
• Silk Chiffon: Tea Rose (medium pink)

Here’s J Crew’s Swatch Page»

I’m so excited that we’re going to be visiting New York City this weekend! We’re so ready for a little time to reconnect and have fun. And we’ll even be working on some wedding stuff — lingerie for me, and a little work on the wedding dance for both of us. Only downer is I’m going to want to eat, eat, eat! So much awesome food in NYC! Hopefully the weather will be nice enough to walk some of it off. He has a meeting Thursday night so I’m contemplating finding a Zumba class but it sure isn’t easy.

Anyway – if all goes well, I’ll find my bustier for my gown, some ‘honeymoon lingerie’, maybe some costume jewelry and be ready for my dress fitting next week! This is the important fitting where we take up the length and find out how much weight I’ve lost. Which reminds me I need to order my high heel wedge flip flops to wear where the Jimmy’s won’t work! Darn – I hope they can get here in a week. High heels a little ridiculous for a beach wedding you’re saying? Ya, I know… If only I had my measurements and 6 more inches of height! Even the seamstress agrees I’m really going to need some height to look good in this dress.

Of course if the stress gets to be too much, I could always hide away in a Bliss Spa for the afternoon while my guy is in his meeting. I’ve loved their products ever since trying them at the W Hotels… Love the lemon + sage soapy suds (smells SO good even though I would not normally try something that had lemon in the title) and am wondering if “fatgirlslim ” really does anything. According to their website, when using fatgirlslim : “87% saw a firming effect; 85% felt a slimming effect; 73% noticed a reduction in the appearance of cellulite”. Given its less than $30 I might just have to try it. That’s one thing that makes a beach wedding more stressful – knowing I’ll be hanging out with my guests in my bikini! I also read a great write-up on their blood orange+white pepper sugar scrub . Wish I could find the original link to share with you. I’m such a product junky…

I forgot to mention the best news from last week! The Marriott has finished their pool facelift, not in the anticipated 6 weeks but in 4 weeks! It is open ahead of schedule. I was concerned when I found out that the pool was being renovated the month before our wedding. While my experience with contractors is still somewhat limited, I’ve been conditioned to expect them to take at least twice as long as expected. The manager assured me it would be open ahead of schedule and sure enough it is! What a relief. There will be dancing poolside!

Well we have less than 6 weeks now. I talked with the hotel’s wedding planner on Friday. Unfortunately I don’t have a lot of answers for her right now. She’s looking for details on things like the menu and the timing of all the events. She’s ready to get down to business and we’re stuck on several things. Like that flower list I’m still waiting for (is it three weeks yet?). When I have flowers chosen and a budget defined, I’ll know what other decor I can afford, if any. Then, the cake will coordinate with the flowers so I’m stuck on that. And my fiancé is supposed to be talking with the banquet captain about lighting – funny the things the boys get interested in. And which ceremony arch? Haven’t really decided yet – none are standing out. I have photos from her and the independent planner and am just not in love with any of them. Do we really need an arch?

I asked the independent planner if she happens to have crystals… she does have a few but not enough for the impact / glam I’m looking for. So, do I purchase some here to bring with me? Do I have any money in the budget? Don’t know until I get flowers figured out.

Welcome bags? Still don’t know when / if they will be back in inventory – have sent two emails. Hair and make-up – haven’t really found my inspiration yet. Would LOVE it if I could see a portfolio of work the spa has done, but something tells me I already know the answer to that. And videographer – still don’t have package details but we are WAY behind the ball on that one so I’m not expecting it to happen. If it does – bonus.

One funny / weird thing is that neither of us have really talked at all about the ceremony. Neither of us are worried about the details. We’ll meet the officiant a day or two before or maybe not until the day of and really know nothing about the ceremony except they have some sort of ’sand blessing’ in place of where others might have a unity candle. We’re not interested in picking out any ‘readings’ or writing vows. We just kind of want it short and sweet so we can all move on to the party! (To be honest, we’re doing the legal stuff back at home a week before the trip.) And stranger yet — I really don’t care about the ’sunset photos’ others are so consumed by. For me its an obligatory photo like the family portrait shots. Photos you ‘have to do’ but I can’t imagine they’ll be the ones I’ll hang in our home. I’m much more likely to hang a pic of my shoes and dress than a cheesy sunset shot.  Hmmmm… “ok – now we have to get the ‘bouquet in the foreground and the couple in the background shot’ and now wait, stop right there so I can get the pic of the sun right in the middle of you while you smooch”. But those photos must be so popular because there must be people that love them so please, no offense if you’re one of those. You might have figured out that I’m not a typical bride.

So — all these unanswered questions – seems like I’d be getting anxious by now… Yet I’m surprisingly relaxed. After my ‘DJ Meltdown’ I’m still ok just going with the flow for now. Really, lately it seems that when I let go of things, that’s when they fall into place. I know that when the independent planner is ready to focus on our wedding she’ll bury me with emails. And I think I’ll be able to focus more after our trip to NYC this weekend. Just need to decide if I’m going to bring the wedding dress with me.

At least the conversation with the planner on Friday was fun. She sounds so sweet. And I tell you – they’re always so darned happy! She’s really cute and I have more confidence each time I talk to her. Maybe that’s why I’m not anxious right now. Even if we don’t get everything sorted out I feel like she’ll come up with something to make it beautiful.

We do have a ‘first dance’ though – just need to practice a little. And invitations are in the mail, but guess what? My last name is spelled wrong! Of course it was up to me to proof them. I did email the correction but didn’t pay close enough attention to notice whether or not the change was made. At least I can order invitations one at a time so I can order an extra with the correct spelling for the photo. My brother teases that I only have to worry about that last name for a few more weeks anyway. Hard to imagine being called by another name. I’m sure the reality of all this will start setting in soon!