Our Aruba Wedding

You may have read a bit about my quest to have some Bhangra music at our reception. If you’re not familiar with it, we often think of it as “Bollywood” music. My fiance is Punjabi and has grown up with this music. I’ve loved it for a long time but don’t really ‘know’ it that well. I hear compilations here and there but couldn’t begin to tell you who sings what. Anyway the music is super lively and fun!  Though I’ve never really watched “Dancing with the Stars”, when I mention Bollywood music people bring it up and said the Bollywood show was one of their best ever! We also have a couple of these tracks in our Zumba class which are so fun! Some of my favs so far: Aaj Ki Raat (from Slumdog Millionaire), Mauja Hi Mauja (From Jab We Met) and Aaj Ki Raat (from Zumba class), Beware of the Boys (Mundian to Bach Ke) (from my personal tiny collection).

In addition to the Mehndi at the Welcome Party, the other Indian element we want to bring into our weekend is some bhangra music rockin’ the reception! (Punjabi people LOVE their parties and love to dance – from 3 years to 80 they are all on the dance floor!) Our Marriott wedding planner was able to find us a DJ. He has this music but we found out that he plays “only Indian functions”. This isn’t really what we are going for – our guests will be mostly Americans that are unfamiliar with the music. We don’t really want an “Indian DJ”, but an awesome DJ that plays a variety of music and can mix some of this other music in since we’d also like to have some latin, Caribbean and dance music. I also went to the Aruba.com forum and asked if anyone has heard of this DJ and still no replies in over 2 weeks! (normally you have valuable input by the end of the first day).

Well the other DJ the Marriott wedding planner wants to hire doesn’t have any bhangra music. It seems the wedding planner really really likes these guys so I’m looking in to it. Since they don’t have the music I would provide a playlist and they will see if they can get it, or what I will probably do is send them a couple of CDs. My hope is that they would review the CDs before the reception and figure out how to weave the music in with the rest. I talked with the owner of the DJ company directly and he gave me three names of DJs that might be available. First thing I did (of course) — search the forum to see if I can find anything out about any of them. No luck! So I’m a little disappointed I’m not being offered a DJ that I can find even one review on. And I cannot find a website for the company that I was hoping would have bios and maybe reviews, testimonials and/or playlist samples. Am I the only one that expects to be able to at least see a professional website for vendors I’m looking to hire? I hate this feeling of having to trust a wedding planner I barely know.

The other option is to see what DJs our independent wedding planner works with. (A few weeks ago she had recommended someone that gets rave reviews on the forum.) This week the Marriott’s planner reminded me we’ll have to pay a ‘facility fee’ if we bring in our own entertainment! I was like what the heck? When we visited in May that’s one thing that caught our attention – we were told no facility fees (not ‘no facility fees unless you hire your own DJ’). I was irritated because it seemed so petty given the money we are spending there. (She also insisted we’re welcome to use our own vendor – that all the Marriott really cares about is the food and beverage. They don’t even require your guests to stay there like many hotels do. That was a big selling point for us — the flexibility and not being held hostage by a small list of ‘hotel approved vendors’.)

We’re definitely exceeding the initial proposals in room and catering costs and decided to have the welcome party there. The fee is nominal but I was really annoyed. Its not my fault they are not offering me anyone I can find reviews on. Not only that – but I would need the DJ for 3.5 hours and I am told I will have to pay for 4! (They will only book in full hour increments.) So, if I hire their DJ I have to pay for time I don’t need and have to put in a lot of work collecting music / playlist for this person. I had told the independent planner that I would be having Marriott handling all the entertainment, but now I don’t know…

By the way — that ‘facility fee’ IS in their wedding package brochure. I didn’t think to look because we were told no facility fees. They say its to cover items like electricity. Really, I’d like to keep it simple and stick with Marriott for the entertainment. I’ve posted a new message on the forum to see if anyone has heard of the three guys the company may have available.

Anyone else going through the ‘wedding planning mood swings’? Getting totally excited about stupid things and getting way too upset about even dumber things?

The highlight of my month!?!? My Jimmy Choos have just arrived! I am so in love with these shoes (and of course the wonderful man that bought them for me)! I have to admit that I just picked probably the most impractical wedding shoes given that we’re having our ceremony on the beach and dinner on a lawn! I tried these on when we were in London this spring and couldn’t stop thinking about them. By the time I finally decided I had to have them, they were sold out worldwide. I had even emailed them through their website hoping they’ll notify me if they get a pair of this Ivory Macy. I’ve also been searching eBay and have googled til I couldn’t see straight. Then, Friday morning, there it is… an email from a London Jimmy Choo boutique! It was meant to be, right? 

Getting them here wasn’t as easy as we thought it would be though. Shipping was expensive (over $50) and then they were held hostage at US Customs! My fiance got the call and had to become an ‘importer’? Really it just amounted to a form he had to fill out for FedEx, and I’m sure more $$$ for duties.

I have a nice totally practical pair of Cole Haan “Ceci Mid Air Heels“. (Well, not totally practical because they are still heels, but more practical than a 4.25″ stiletto.) Beautiful shoes but I just wanted something sexier! Is it wrong that I am more excited about my shoes than my wedding dress? I love my dress but agonize over that last few pounds I have to lose to feel confident in it. The shoes are sexy even if I don’t lose an ounce!

So — I have a couple of options for the walk down the aisle. One, my planner has a white carpet runner that could let me wear my shoes. The catch — no real rose petals allowed on the carpet. Darn! I had wanted an aisle of real pink and orange rose petals. So, option 2 – a high heel wedge shoe for the ceremony and dinner, saving my fab shoes for pictures and dancing. Here’s the problem with that option — the wedges are 3-1/2″ tall, the Choos are 4-1/4″ tall. So do I tailor to the wedges and then have a dress that’s a little too short when I put on the Macys? Or do I tailor to the Macy’s and have a dress that’s a little too long when I wear the flip flops? Am I crazy for even putting this much energy into thinking about this?

Do you have a ‘totally impractical but gotta have it’ thing?

Wow! 9 weeks from now we will be IN Aruba making final preparations for the wedding weekend. Seems so much more real to see that number in the single digits. That’s just over two months. Why do I keep thinking I still have three months?

• Accomplished in the last week: not much I’m afraid to say… We did FINALLY place that invitation order and put together our list of addresses. I had intended to have this done a month ago, but ‘life at home’ doesn’t stop because we’re getting married. We had a stretch of ‘one thing after another’ of things not related to the wedding. Also, skipped a workout and partied a bit so I’ve probably lost a week when it comes to getting in shape. (Am I the only one who’s one night of partying leads to days of bad behavior?)
• Unproductive time: spent many more hours looking for decorating inspiration. Really all I have to decorate is two long dinner tables. Should be easy right? Well since that’s the only decorating I really have control over I’m totally driving myself crazy and WAY over-thinking this. Last night on the ProjectWedding website I looked at 300 pages of photos (8 photos per page)! Then spent another hour looking at updos, even though I know I don’t have a lot of options with my baby fine hair. My biggest real decisions will be flower or no flower? 
• Goals for this week: Get back on track with the workouts. No partying this weekend! Select a DJ — the DJ drama continues — I’ll fill you in later, find a welcome party outfit (ya, I know I’ve been saying that). Continue looking for some fun bhangra music for the Welcome Party and Reception – have maybe 10 songs so far…

When selecting a hotel I found TripAdvisor.com to be very helpful! When reading any sort of review, I have a tendency to kind of give less weight to reviews that are extreme, whether it be too angry or too glowing. And be sure to look at reviews for the time of year you plan to be there. Of course there may be things that have changed in a year, like the hotel has been renovated which was true in our case. Doing your homework on a site like TripAdvisor will give you a heads up for concerns you should discuss with the hotel sales person.

Reading through TripAdvisor I did see posts from users that were bothered by late night noise in the Marriott lobby. Others complained about smoke. The hotel is smoke free but the casino isn’t and visitors with rooms above the casino thought that smoke traveled up through the vents. While I don’t know if these are real issues, I’ll tell my guests they may want to request a room away from the lobby and casino.

The other resource that has been a tremendous help is the Aruba.com forum. There you can find out just about anything you want – info on vendors, activities, restaurants, hotels…. There is even an entire section dedicated to Weddings and Honeymoons. You will also find reviews of vendors and even be able to talk to other couples getting married in Aruba. While there are a few people on there that rub me the wrong way most of the people are quite gracious and happy to help. The moderators do a great job and are quick to correct inaccurate posts. You’ll be able to learn about vendors available, though in my opinion the better vendors do not post. They hang back and let their work speak for itself though happy couples. I do have to say the “one post wonders” have a little less credibility for me though… people that never posted a thing until they suddenly decided to “review” their wedding and vendors. Take your time in selecting vendors because the best vendors may not be obvious.

You might be figuring out that I’m a ‘product junky’. I thought I’d pass along this deal I just got in an email – I haven’t used this product yet, but think I might just have to order some up with this “Buy 1 Get 1 Free” deal. I’m putting together an “Emergency Bag” for each of my bridesmaids with items like first aid, sunscreen, and other things that our guests might need. Here’s what the email said: Bliss's 20-in-1 Wonder Balm

“Whether you use it for soothing an insect bite or taming unruly eyebrows, Bliss's 20-in-1 Wonder Balm works all kinds of wonders.” -Maureen Choi, Bridal Guide

Key Features & Benefits:

• soothe sunburn and windburn
• soothe just-waxed skin
• soothe stressed post-treatment skin
• soothe stinging and itching from insect bites
• moisturize chapped heels, elbows, knees
• moisturize chapped noses
• prevent runner’s chafing
• prevent shoe blisters
• nourish cuticles
• tame hair flyaways
• groom eyebrows
• fix make-up mistakes

The deal is only good for a week but I’ll try to post what we think of the product. If you’ve used this already please let me know if you thought it was worthwhile. (Click on the product image to check it out for yourself.)

One of my favorite sites for inspiration: stylemepretty.com. Inspiration Boards, Photo Galleries, Blog posts (one of my favs which features the photo, left), DIY, look books and more… I could spend HOURS on here…

The main feature at our Welcome Party in Aruba will Mehndi. My fiance is Indian and I am American. Our wedding will be a western non-denominational wedding but Mehndi is one Indian tradition we look forward to incorporating. When I first started looking for a henna artist in Aruba I was having a difficult time and finally arranged to bring someone from home. However shortly after those arrangements were made I found out there is at least one (maybe more) henna artist(s) in Aruba. There is actually good sized Indian community in Aruba. In particular, there seem to be a lot of Indian jewelers. Anyway — Karina at Palais Hindu can put you in touch with a Henna Artist that works at a very reasonable rate. As of last week, Bridal hand Mehndi was quoted at $80 and feet at $65. Guests are quoted at $15 each. You can contact Karina through the Palais Hindu website. She also has wedding rentals available and can offer guidance on other Indian touches you might be looking for. She has been a huge help to me and graciously shared a lot of information.

Well, 10 weeks from today we will be in Aruba preparing to welcome guests to the welcome party! Unfortunately this has been one of my more unproductive weeks. The only good news is I have finally reached my ‘pre-fiancé’ weight and am within 4 pounds of the weight I want to be at for my second dress fitting in 4 weeks.

• Accomplished this week: a conference call with the Aruba Marriott’s wedding planner and restaurant manager about the welcome party, scheduled my appointments at the Mandara Spa for a consultation and bridal hair and make-up
• Unproductive time: though I didn’t check much off the list, I did spend HOURS looking for a Welcome Party outfit, looking for inspiration for flowers and centerpieces. I also looked for hairstyle ideas and jewelry and have not yet given up on the totally impractical Jimmy Choos I desperately want. (Ya, I know it’s probably for the best that I didn’t find those shoes, but sometimes you just get something in your head, you know? They are still sold out worldwide.) AND I started researching bhangra music that we want to have at our Welcome Party and reception.
• Goals for this coming week: Get invitations out! That is the one thing we really need to get done.

I’m sure I’m not the only bride that gets obsessed with nearly every aspect of her appearance before a wedding, but boy am I ready for this to be done! I think a destination beach wedding creates even more pressure. While I will be married in a traditional gown I will spend a good share of the weekend in a bikini, like on the sailing excursion. I’m not very comfortable in a swimsuit to begin with… I find myself putting together a game plan for timing weight-loss goals, dress fittings, hair highlights, acrylic nails, pedicures (need to get on a regimen), workouts and even a package of chemical peels! My obsession at the moment is finding the best scrub / exfoliator that will help me get rid of the perma-farmer tan I seem to have down my left arm (from driving) and my chest from V-neck blouses. I read a review somewhere that rated 6 sugar scrubs and know there was one I wanted to try but of course I can’t find it. I think maybe it was one by Bliss?

Of course now Apothica, one of my fav beauty sites is having a 20% off sale on top of free shipping. Something tells me this can only mean trouble! Still, how do you really know what products will work? Last week at the medispa I purchase one of their cucumber mint scrubs that I have to say I’m not too happy with.

All Orders over $49 Receive Free Priority Shipping from Apothica.com

Today I had a wonderful conference call with the Marriott’s wedding planner and the manager of the La Vista Restaurant where we will have our welcome party. These ladies are so cute and were so much fun to talked to. We talked over an hour throwing ideas around. I also learned that they are both planning their own weddings and ‘get’ my concerns.

I have found myself at times getting a little wound up and defensive as I try to assert my wishes. I’m suddenly realizing how unnecessary that was. These girls really are in this with us. I feel like they really do care about our event and enjoy their work. Early on when we were negotiating the contracts we had to deal with the “corporate” side of the Marriott. We really liked the manager that we worked with but often she’d have to get answers from her manager which could take days. And it seemed like it took a while to actually get that contract in hand to review. Also there were areas where there was no flexibility due to Marriott policies (like the fact that my guests can’t guarantee themselves an ocean view room with our ‘run of the house’ contract, even if they are willing to pay more). I think it was this feeling like we were wrestling with a big corporation that put me into a defensive mode.

Now all the ‘paperwork’ is done and we have moved on to the planning. At first I was a bit disappointed that our planner doesn’t really start working with us until three months before the wedding, but now I can see that is an appropriate starting time. Otherwise I would have driven her nuts for the last two months. Now that she is ready to work on our wedding she is really focused on us and the other near future weddings instead of being distracted by weddings that are still 6 months or more away. A month ago I was getting frustrated when it would take days to get an answer, however now that I’m inside the three month window, I can see that everything is as it should be. She follows up quickly and when she is unavailable, forwards issues to someone else that can get back to me right away. 

So, my fears of being “just another bride in a Marriott wedding production line”, are alleviated. I think we’re right on track and am confident our event will get all the attention it needs, if not more.