Our Aruba Wedding

Well its the end of the night on the 30th. Still no wedding decorating proposals have come in and the hotel’s planner has been out of the office. (You’d think by now they would at least be kind enough to let me know if they were uninterested or unable to help with our event. It’s a lot easier to move on when you have answers, even if they are the ones you don’t want, vs just feeling like you’ve been forgotten about or you are being ignored.) So, I think I’m just going to have to forget about the draping and try to move on.

Also, looks like using a suite for a welcome party is not going to happen. (Our travel wedding planner thought we might be able to get use of the suite for free or a greatly reduced cost if we committed to a certain amount of catering. But, 30% off is the best they’ll offer even though its off season and those suites are so expensive you won’t convince me they’ll all sell out on a Thursday night in the off-season.) Seems like the hotel is a little less helpful now that the contract is signed and we are locked in. Hopefully that’s not really the case – we may have found exactly the same thing if we tried to negotiate before signing the contract, but now we won’t know. Emails are certainly a lot shorter and to the point and being answered slower.

So, trying to focus on other ideas for decor and the welcome party. I’ve managed to go from really excited to figuring out how to make do. Feeling like we were taking two steps forward followed by one step back change to standing in place and now slowly sliding backwards. Is this just normal? If there are any other Aruban brides that can offer some support I’d could really use a note of encouragement. =)

While this isn’t Aruba specific, if you’re like me the wedding budget may be squeezing every other budget of yours. One of the websites I use to get a “Designer Fix” is Gilt.com. These are short private sales of about three days each. The Stewart Weitzman boutique JUST opened up and has a few different pairs of really cute metallic silver or gold sandals that would be great with a wedding dress. There are also some wedges that would be great for a tropical location. That sale ends 7/2/09. Another designer, Helen Kaminski has some great light tops and woven bags and hats perfect for a beach destination! (That sale ends tomorrow at midnight!) The Ali Ro boutique is also open – there is a super cute Silk Print Habotai Bustier dress that would make a really fun bridesmaid dress. Below are just a few of the items featured right now on Gilt.com.

Thanks to the interest of another bride I’m posting my Hyatt site visit photos… Clicking the thumbnail takes you to a detail page and a ‘medium’ image – clicking on that image will then give you a larger image. There’s probably a better way to display photos by I’m new to blogging – before this I hated blogs. Finally I see the value. =)

Well I’m glad to report that the Aruba Aloe products I’m interested in are considerably less expensive on the island. They can be purchased at lots of different places on the island including grocery stores and directly from the factory. These are full size products though. So far, no one is aware of travel sizes of these products being available for purchase. My first choice would be to put travel size products in each bag since I cannot afford full size products for all the bags.

So, as an alternative, I think I’ll get several each of a couple of different products and ask my bridesmaids to be the ‘go to’ people. In particular, I want to have sunburn products on hand for those that over-indulge in the Aruba sun. At the moment my thought is to give the products to my bridesmaids and rent them local cell phones for the weekend. Then if someone gets burned they would be able to make a local call the bridesmaid or leave a message for their room (I’d leave this contact info in the welcome bags).

I’m also trying to anticipate other products that people often forget when they travel – for example, over the counter medications like headache / pain killers, anti-inflammatory and sea-sickness medicine since we’re planning a sailing / snorkeling excursion. I’m trying to come up with things that are often unavailable or very expensive at the hotel. Please comment if you have ideas you’d like to share!

One things I was hoping to put in my welcome bags is some sun care products and have read great thing about the local “Aruba Aloe” products. I liked the idea of giving people a local product that they are known for AND the fact that we wouldn’t have to pack these – we’d just pick them up when we get there. I was excited about this idea until I went to their site and saw the prices! Pretty pricey stuff – at least the items I’m interested in ($11.95-18.95 – too expensive to put in a dozen or more bags). I emailed them directly to see if maybe they have travel size versions of some of their products. Well they do have 2oz sizes of some of the products but I would have to buy 96 pieces of any product I’m interested in.

I had started to kind of give up on that idea figuring I’ll just scavenge some sun products (sunscreen and burn remedies) here at home at the end of the summer season. Today though, I stumbled across an Aruba grocery store website that seems to have these products significantly less. Like the $18.95 After Sun lotion ($16.95 on Amazon) for $7.07… Could that possibly be? Seems too good to be true so I posted to a forum to see if this is the case or if they know of local places I can buy the travel size products.

I am curious as to how good these products work so I did order myself a bottle of the Burn Balm to try since I’m bound to get a good sunburn or two this summer.

Well its near the end of business on Friday and I am still waiting for three proposals from independent wedding planners…

Wedding Planner 1 is the one we met with when we visited Aruba. She’s pretty busy right now and told me she would get me a formal proposal by the 30th of June, so she’s cool. I’m certain she’ll follow through.

Then there is Wedding Planner 2, who was recommended to us by the Aruba Marriott. I emailed her on the 12th of June. She didn’t reply to the email but did finally call me on the 19th of June, a week later, explaining that she had been busy. I was busy at the moment that she called but told her that I would like to talk more, maybe on Monday. I admit she called at kind of a bad time so I wonder if I seemed hassled at all. Anyway – I followed up with an email Sunday night, the 21st, thanking her for the call and letting her know that I did still want to talk to her. I also mentioned that I was pretty anxious to find out if she would be able to do the draping and what the cost might be. (If its going to remain out of our budget I’d rather know now and move on to other ideas. If it is in the budget its going to really restrict what else I can do so I’d like to know that too since I am trying to figure out what kind of budget I may have available for a welcome party.)

Well now end of business on Friday and I still have no word. No more calls and no reply to my email. The previous week she did say that she had been busy that week as they had just moved, so I’m trying to give the benefit of the doubt here. Still, a quick note saying ‘I haven’t forgotten about you’ would be nice. I can’t help but wonder – does she not want the business since this wedding might not be as lucrative for her given that its at the Marriott?

And then wedding / event planner 3 recommended from the Aruba forum. We exchanged a few emails on June 15/16 and he wasn’t sure yet if he would have our date available but said he would let me know. I also sent him a follow up email on the 21st inquiring if at least the canopy might be available and what its pricing might be but haven’t heard back.

I have to admit I’m feeling a little down as I cannot get these answers. I guess that’s part of the ‘planning from afar’ and choosing such a small island. This isn’t one of those cases where you can just move on to another vendor. Particularly for something like the canopy draping. So I’m feeling there is a pretty good chance it won’t be available (or affordable). Its not that its THAT urgent – the wedding is still 4 months away.

This is all quite an exercise in patience and flexibility. I guess its probably good for me. =) I’ll wait through the weekend and email the Marriott planner on Monday to see if she’s heard anything.

I’ve been asked recently if we are going to have a ‘legal’ wedding in Aruba. We looked into it and finally decided against it. There is extra cost and hassle and you HAVE to get married in their “Civil Town House”. After the town house wedding, you can then later have a religious wedding or blessing on the beach. We want a Saturday wedding and the town house is only available in the late morning and has an additional charge. So, not only is there more hassle than we want to go through, but I don’t really want to get married in the morning and then wait around for my evening / sunset reception.

So what we are doing is a private civil ceremony in the states and then a ‘renewal of vows’ type of ceremony on the beach in Aruba. As far as guests will know, that will be the official wedding. It will also allow them to spend most of the day enjoying the island instead of having our activities consume so much of it. We decided we wanted to keep things as simple as possible and have more money to spend on the party!

If you do want the legal wedding, everything I’ve read has said that the Civil Town House is really adorable. Very charming and quaint. Having a wedding in the morning and a reception in the evening also makes it easier to justify a ‘wedding dress’ and ‘reception dress’. =)

Here you can find Aruba’s legal marriage requirements»

I’m already at work trying to figure out what to put in the OOT / Welcome Bags (took me a little bit before I found out “OOT” means out-of-town!) One item I love is Sigg water bottles from Sweden. They’re all aluminum, eco-friendly, super safe, etc. You can even buy insulated pouches for them. I like the idea of the guests being able to bring these to the beach with them. The downside? They’re expensive. I’m trying to find somewhere I can get a good deal on these. They retail for $20-25. I’d like to include at least one “nice” think in the bags but will anyone “get” how nice these are? As Sigg says, “For the future we see is green an clean, sleek and stylish. Above all, it’s a future of consciousness and commitment. Here’s to the future.”

So, I’m trying to figure out how to get a better deal on these. I even emailed the company directly to see if I could get a discount on a large order. They just said they can’t give me a price until I’m ready to order. She said when I’m ready to call them and the discount will depend on stock levels at the time of the order… Ugh… If anyone knows where I can get these at a really good price, please let me know! Thanks.

I found the Knot Guide to Destination Weddings helpful. While most of the information is stuff you can find on their website, I found it nice to be able to just chill out and flip through this book. After hours and hours of forum posts and other research I didn’t feel like I was getting anywhere. A quick read through this helped me focus, though I have to admit it doesn’t talk about Aruba specifically.

So just before our trip, I find myself thinking I could end up with THREE ‘wedding planners’ for one wedding of 35 people. Makes me sound like quite the diva, don’t you think? Luckily I’m not an obnoxious bridezilla.

We learned there are different types of ‘planners’ for different parts of the process or different types of weddings. Many of the resorts will provide you with an in-house wedding planner that has experience with weddings at their location. (In particular your ‘branded’ hotels often have this – Renaissance, Marriott, Hyatt, Westin etc.) There may be a fee for their services or the services may be included as part of a package. They know their hotel well and what the hotel can and can’t do and will handle the outside vendors like the florist, officiant, entertainment. Some hotels are really strict about what vendors they allow letting you choose only from a list of their approved vendors. The Hyatt was by far the most restrictive. If you want something their pre-selected vendors can’t provide you may be stuck.

There are also independent wedding planners. Since we were also wanted to check out the ’boutique-y’ low rise area, we arranged to meet with an independent planner. These independent planners have experience with lot of different types of weddings at different locations. They know the island inside and out and may be able to help guide you in selecting the best location for you and your budget. Even though we chose the Marriott and they will provide us with a planner, we are also still considering working with the independent planner. With the Marriott, they are really flexible in allowing you to use outside vendors. One thing that bothered me about the Marriott was that they charge a 19% service fee on top of everything, even services they don’t provide. So, we’re hoping an indepent planner may help us get more for our money.

Then there is the ‘travel wedding planners‘. Shortly before our trip an acquaintance insisted we contact a woman he just met – someone that is a destination wedding planner. At first I’m thinking we could already be working with two planners, why would be need a third? Well the value in them is that they know these locations well and have seen how they have handled many different weddings. What this particular organization really does is help you pick resorts to consider and then helps you in organizing travel arrangements and negotiating the room contract (if you choose to go into a contract). She was actually the one that insisted we re-consider the Aruba Marriott, (we had ruled it out early on), and sure enough – she was right. That was the location that suited us best.

This particular destination wedding company is commission based. They’re basically travel agents that specialize in weddings. Sometimes their ‘buying power’ will help you negotiate a better deal, sometimes you can work out a better deal on your own when the resort doesn’t have to pay that commission. In this case she helped us negotiate our contract and we believe she got us a better rate than we could have gotten on our own.

So – we had the travel planner help with contract negotiation, have the hotel’s wedding planner ready to help us, and may still work with an independent wedding planner / decorator. In fact we’re waiting for proposals from three independent planners. I have to admit I’m getting pretty anxious for these proposals but I’m trying to keep in mind they are on “Aruba Time”. I’m also telling myself that the fact that they are taking a while to get back could mean they are busy and in demand.

In the end, can you go it alone? Sure… For me it wouldn’t be worth the headache and the unknowns. For the simplest wedding a high-rise hotel with an in-house wedding planner is probably your best bet. However if you want something really personal that reflects your style an independent planner is worth talking to.